Lately I catch myself reaching for the frame of my glasses to adjust them and they aren't on my face. Normally it would be fine, nothing wrong with this except it's moments after removing them to give my eyes a break.
Call it languishing, COVID fatigue, or something else, but it's very real and it's happening to you too, probably. After a long day in front of a computer I'll stare blankly at a different screen -the TV, and I'm not focused on the content at all but for whatever reason I still need it there. Half the time I couldn't tell you what I'm watching. What they did to pass time in 1918 without any televisions I have no idea.
Like anyone who works in front of a computer all day, I find myself yearning for brainless evenings to just sit and do nothing.
I've started more than one book and tried organizing the decorations and other bits and bobs left behind since our wedding last year. I've taken out the stamps and flipped through pages of an old colouring book for adults. Something tells me both of these previously enjoyable activities won't cut the mustard today.
I wake to moonlight on the sofa in the middle of the night. I can hear soft snores coming from our bed. By this time I recall falling asleep in the living room with my glasses on. The next morning I flip the blanket around in search of my lenses while keeping 2 fingers crossed they'll be located in one piece.
Want to know where I'm really at?
I wore my slippers to the office yesterday.
Some days, I want to grab that same slipper and slap myself across the face.
Yes, it's ridiculous and sad and pathetic and
yet,
here we are Alberta.
One great thing I'll admit is between the far-left and far-right and between we can agree on something: the United Conservative Party has not handled COVID-19 well at all.
COVID-19 has been wreaking havoc on our lives for the last 14 months and our beloved (sarcastic) Premier stood in front of the province on the 6'oclock news hour this week next to a bottle of what we can only assume is hand sanitizer, behind a yellow square superimposed: Stop The Spike
As if this is going to get across to your "base" >
Dude, you look tired!
How do you expect anyone to take you seriously when you can't give us a straight answer?
Since you're always looking for advice (again, sarcastic) how about at month #14 of Covid-19 Alberta, you try getting on your hands and knees in praise?
Try giving thanks to grocery store staff and our tireless folks who serve us through Drive-Thru windows. Write e-mails to pharmacies to say thank you for being part of the solution.
You seem to ignore questions from the media because you know they'll ask for your accountability.
Did you think the Chief Medical Officer of Health would be pleased to fall on your sword? The only reason Dr. Hinshaw's starting to look far worse than you is because you continue to throw her to the wolves. She went from telling us she's concerned to saying she *can't* tell us how concerned she really is. Um, what?
Congratulations YOU did that, Jason Kenney!
We're still trying to find where you left your respect for our Educators, Custodians and restless Healthcare Professionals. The honking and clapping at 7 PM is an insult to their dedication.
Even that stopped.
As you can tell I'm still bitter.
I think I'm so angry because I don't recognize it - this place we call Home.
Scrolling my TL shows me there's a new event planned by losers protesting lockdowns and making a fuss over facial coverings.
Think about it for one second : We've never had a "lockdown" in Alberta. The rodeo-goers last weekend are an absolute embarrassment to this province and our peoples before us. Do the Freedumb Fighters truly think that shit like that could happen during a "lockdown" in Alberta? I fully support a public healthcare exemption list for those who were in attendance too. In terms of the definition we have not been issued any "stay at home" orders from the government, therefore we are free to come and go as we please, THEREFORE we are not in a lockdown you fucking idiots! End rant.
Congratulations Kenney - you also did that!
When people have that much time to make signs and protest on the sidewalks of someone's business, outside parishes, or down at the Alberta legislature or City Hall then I feel they should watch more pornography. Draw a picture or write a book. Clean out the fridge. I don't care what you do, but if you think it's your charter fucking rights to stand up and speak out against fictional lockdowns while doctors and nurses have been saving lives for the last fourteen months, you need an actual fucking lobotomy.
If anybody has a right to protest it's our vulnerable populations; our minorities. Warehouse and logistics personnel. Food service staff and drivers. Hospital administrators and teachers and caregivers in long-term facilities. Jesus Christ, the PARENTS!
Parents should be at the corner of every intersection in Calgary and Edmonton with big, neon signs that read: GIVE US A BREAK!
Sure, I'm only a twenty-something, fairly healthy young woman but I've been expected to risk my health this whole time without support. I wasn't given a second thought during Alberta's vaccine rollout. Yet here I am on a weekday, sitting at home because public health and AHS has asked I do my part.
It's not about being suppressed, it's about keeping everybody safe. The sooner the trucknut lovers get this through their thick skulls the sooner we can all move on to Jason Kenney's, 'Best Summer Ever.'
By now you've probably gathered I'm a bit sarcastic.
I call this my survival mechanism.
Unless you count being a professional sister to 4 brothers I'm only a sales professional by trade. From July to December 2020 our team was given a target of 1.2M dollars for sales. And do you know how we managed? By doing it together.
Last year at the start of the global pandemic we learned we are essential workers because we supply businesses classed as essential services. What really pisses me off though, is how our government deemed me eligible for the coronavirus vaccine along with 12-year-olds!
For 15 years I've been in the workforce and pre-Covid I would have been ready to kick ass and take names. Now it's like part of me disappeared these last 10 months. I can't concentrate. My head hurts. My physical health has been compromised by fatigue. I'm worried about my grandparents, parents and community. Anxiety has led to pains in my chest. My head is itchy. I saw my GP and told her I'm convinced I have a blood clot because I didn't get any of the normal symptoms after testing positive for COVID-19 in March. She didn't laugh at me like I imagined. Instead she listened. She accepted my concerns and told me I'm fine and it's highly unlikely.
This road is long and different for everyone.
Well, my mind kind of goes blank. Because I really need to understand things for my brain to settle.
Lately I've been feeling I need to start over.
Selling large-format printing equipment doesn't make me feel like an essential worker in Operation #COVID19AB but you can bet your ass I'm thankful to have been able to work the entire time. I thank Prime Minister Justin Trudeau for providing financial support to businesses so that my employer could keep me employed. What did Jason Kenney do when PMJT offered help? Refused it.
We can only hope when our provincial election rolls through, Albertans remember how much we suffered under the realm of Jason Kenney and the United Conservative Party.
Alberta UCP should be terrified of the sixteen-year-olds today because many of them are already brilliant and will not vote for their sorry asses two years from now when given the opportunity.
Personally I can't fucking wait to see their faces when they lose.
The thing that helps me is turning the fucking music up.
Or is it turning Up the music?
Thanks @Spotify
Now if you're still reading this, go on, bake a cake for your Mother.
Try sending a text to someone who recently had a baby and tell them you're thinking of them.
Write down how you feel when someone asks you, "when are you going to have kids?"
Things right now are very different than they were a year ago.
Today, two days can feel like 30
Thirty days can feel like two.
Be kind to others.
Be the best you can be, for yourself.
Don't do anything you wouldn't tell your grandchildren about.
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