left and leaving

her peripheral vision offered the clock on the wall
the minute hand dancing circles around the hour hand
the seconds hand in canon with her heart beat
an engine breaks the silence
shifting to park, the vehicle waits in the dark street
does this mean...
the coffee shop is closing
she had been anticipating her exit
would it be quick and flawless,
or laid out and intricate?
removing her jacket from the back of the chair, she regretted having to leave such a beautiful atmosphere
everything you'll require awaits in the car
long and black and desperate; it would have waved her over if it could
she didn't know if she should thank the man
for his company, for his strength and kindness
placing one foot in front of the other she made her way to the door
the sign hanging in the window was double-sided and from the inside of the shop it read: OPEN
but who had gone and turned it over?
surely she would have acknowledged an employee walking past her table towards the door, changing the sign
he opened the door for her and she stepped into the quiet air
and she paused
will i see you again?
she said this in the direction of the vehicle
as if she was saying goodbye to it, instead
close your eyes
as he walked around to face her, she was reminded of his spiciness
slowly, carefully, he reached for her hand which hung down by her thigh
lifting it up towards his chest,
tell me what you feel
the senses in her palm searched desperately for a beat that never came
not wanting to believe it, she closed her hand and made a fist where the beat should have been coming from
she had his heart in her hand
his heart was her hand in that moment
knocking twice on a body as hollow as a log, she opened her eyes
his chest was no longer where she held her fist; his heart
instead, an older man in a black suit stood in front of her
one hand on the handle of an elegant black limousine
he had left; and she was leaving
(to be continued)

greatness

her mind was beautiful and intricate
like an underground tunnel with secret doors and passages
nobody knew how to figure her out; not even herself
of course the doctors could read her
she was an open book
as open as the door of the limousine
the one that would be arriving shortly
why dont you tell me five important things
about what, exactly?
anything. anything important.
her thoughts were floating in an aquarium; swimming on clouds
and then in no order she began
it is important that people know that they put bread into the toaster
(how many times had she heard "put some toast in the toaster"?)
it must be too many
go on
people should remember to laugh. it is music.
how desperately she had wanted to be a concert pianist in her youth
making music with her bare fingers
(laughing is much easier)
bacon is the best part of breakfast
her nostrils flared just thinking about the smell while her ears listened for the sizzling sound; too familiar
(it had been there all along in the crack of the fire)
two more
wanting to impress him with her depth, she paused to think about number four
she didn't even know this man
should she need to impress him?
and then it hit her like a wrecking ball through a building
it is hard to get to know someone if you're trying to impress them
what is it that draws the human race to impress each other?
even in the moment of death their last, dying breathe must be captivating
she didn't need to impress anybody anymore though the back of her mind was thinking about those golden gates she'd heard so much about
(would she be of enough greatness?)
after moments of silence she lifted her chin to the ceiling as if awknowledging a higher power
almost struggling, she managed to finally say
love yourself.
and in that very instant, she was of enough greatness.
(to be continued)

something salty something sweet

the needs of a woman are simple
any man with a decent IQ should know what women want
your basic brain surgeon who owns oceanfront property and his own jet (landing strip out back)
he knows the perfect age of wine and has millions somewhere in the cayman islands
right?
that's what she wanted, right?
wrong.
as much as she has loved materialism in the past, what she knew today proved differently
today, she would have settled for a man who could hold down a steady job
a man who could open her heart without having to cut her open
no IV. no operating table. only love.
wanting and needing are two entirely different things
but for her, wanting and needing were too similar
she wanted time.
she needed time.
and she wasn't really allowed either
inhaling the smell of the ocean that she could have wanted, she smiled
how wonderful it would be to have her own orchard
to have a man who could age the wine himself
the combination of salty and sweet
maybe that's what she needed
no, maybe that's what she wanted
who really knows the difference?
(to be continued)