haiku (x)

clear your head space now

make sure you're as ripe as the 

bananas up there.

haiku (ix)

i nearly forgot

how beautiful nature is

but then, why would i?

What is a Book?

certain places contain more knowledge and mystery than you can imagine.

these same places have faced an uphill battle against the new and improved, against advancing technology.

used bookstores are these knowledge-infused havens that can take you out of the world with the single turn of a page. but the things most commonly found in used bookstores seem to be losing status in society today.

and so, i'm left to ask...

 what is a book?

Anyone's Best Friend. (a doc. on dogs)

 ha ha..well now, we call this a mini-documentary.

but there are several very important things between a human and animal relationship that you should know about.

I'd appreciate your input.

Anuptaphobia.

one of the most powerful things we can do is

love ourselves.

yeah it has been said over and over again by the preachers the mothers the teachers the friends and television and magazines and medical professionals.

and why wouldn't we?

yet we are so taken aback; so utterly rocked by emotions that we are often willing to send our love out to any Tom Dick or Harry. what makes us so sure that Tom will feel the same way for the same amount of time? and will Harry wake up in the morning and look at you smiling because half your face is lit by the sun peaking through the window blinds while the other half remains peaceful in the shadows? which Dick are you really getting the hots for?

nothing.

no.

n/a.

it has taken me many years to love myself this much so tell me, why would i turn around and start all over again on somebody else? can i please have ten or twelve or even 13 more years to myself? Anuptaphobia. it's almost as much a fear of being single as it is a fear of not finding someone to love forever. if that's what people are really afraid of then they must not pay very much attention to themselves.

it's OK...check yourself out once in a while.

turn around in the mirror and see what everybody behind you sees. close your eyes for some seconds and then look at yourself again and pretend that you're the only person in the world capable of finding love but you cannot choose who the love is. pretend you really do have Anuptaphobia and pretend that somebody just came over and said you can have the love that is waiting in this taxi or you can spread the love to the entire rest of the population.

you wouldn't lose the love you can give.

you wouldn't lose the love you can find, either.

you wouldn't be losing anything.

unless you chose the love in the cab.

if i'm single today, i'll probably be single tomorrow and most likely the day after as well.

but if i love myself today and tomorrow then the day after i should love myself even more.

i think the more we love ourselves, the better chances we have of finding love.

i think we'll probably find it when we're not looking for it.

and i think too much.

but what i don't think about is the fear of being single.

Anuptaphobia.

it's almost as much a fear of being single as it is a fear of being alone.

and why would we fear being alone when that's exactly how we've come and how we'll go?

MCMLXIX

Pierre Trudeau was Prime Minister of Canada.

Richard Milhous Nixon became 37th President of The United States of America.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono were married.

and then they had a week-long Bed-In for Peace at the Amsterdam Hilton hotel; allowing the world's press to visit them from 0900 until 2100 every day.

the average monthly rent was one-hundred and 35-dollars US.

gas per gallon in the United States was 35-cents.

bell-bottom jeans.

tie-dye t-shirts.

The Montreal Expos ball team played their first home game.

Joe Sakic and Rick Mercer were born.

Led Zeppelin I (first studio-recorded album) released.

Janis Joplin, The Beatles, Grateful Dead, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.

"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."

400,000 music fans gathered on a New York farm to see Jimi Hendrix, the Who, and more. 

the Death Penalty is abolished in the UK.

The Satanic Bible is written and published by Anton LaVey.

Homosexuality is decriminalized in Canada.

the first automatic teller machine (ATM) was installed in the US.

Golda Meir became the first female prime minister of Israel.

Women are allowed membership of Future Farmers of America.

Quebec teachers end their 18-month long strike.

X-rated, Oscar-winning film, Midnight Cowboy debuts.

Judy Garland dies of a drug overdose in her London home.

Brian Jones drowns in his own swimming pool; also in England.

the halfpenny is no longer legal tender in the UK.

Richard Oakes backed by 90 others offers to buy Alcatraz for $24.00

The Brady Bunch premieres on ABC.

The National Women's Hall of Fame opens.

Maya Angelou publishes, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

Kurt Vonnegut publishes, Slaughterhouse-Five. 

Led Zeppelin II album release.

the year that abortion became legal in Canada.

1969

haiku (viii)

twelve thirty-four is

possibly the only time

that makes sense daily.

haiku (vii)

sometimes it's nicer

to love it then learn instead

of learning to love.

personal foreign territory

are we here on this earth because none of the other planets can support life like ours?

do we actually have a purpose?

do we actually have to figure it out?

most people ask, "what are we here for?" they say- things ain't the way they used to be, or things these days just seem to get scarier and scarier. but how would we know?

enough with the questions.

think about the freshest breath of air you've ever taken.

think about the way that you inhaled and smiled because you knew that you were alive and you knew that exhaling would make you feel complete. think about the pause before the next inhale and then think about nothing.

somebody tells you to walk to the mailbox on the corner of 11 street and 17th avenue. once you get there, they say, take a number from one of the posters taped to the mailbox. if you don't have a cellphone this is not a problem because you won't be required to contact the person. 

but if all of the former were to happen to you, would you dial the number anyways?

would you want to find out about this person who you were led to discover?

probably not.

you most likely wouldn't be interested in the service from a mailbox or you probably wouldn't want to bother wasting a call or you might even consider for a second why a random person was telling you to walk to this particular mailbox and take a number from a poster in the first place.

you may feel as if a stranger should have no business telling you what to do and which way to go.

you may think instead about what a unique situation you've managed to land yourself in...suddenly.

suddenly you are swept away into a world with different air and a different kind of rhythm.

how many times can you say you've been completely blindsided and pleasantly surprised at exactly the same time?

how many times have you walked to your mailbox or past mailboxes only to glance past the posters taped up along the back and sides?

some do it every day.

but the second we are led to discover something so simple; something so positively easy to have been discovered on our own,

we are blindsided.

we get so used to doing the same things every day that when somebody comes along and tells us to do it we see it as entirely foreign yet

exactly right.

it's like breathing the freshest breath of air.

i am in a personal foreign territory and i don't want out.

there's always that person you're used to seeing used up. busy doing everything that hurts them; everything that cuts them down. why do people let themselves take the fall for the faults of others?

why do people choose to live a life they wouldn't choose? 

well, we do it every day. you and I and him, too. 

one of the most valuable things we learn from others is how to hurt each other. 

is it because when we're hurting we know we're alive?

Junk - anything that is regarded as useless, unwanted, trash. a lot of the time junk is broken to the point of no return. other times, junk is the external genitals or something horribly addictive. junk is hard to save.

Born into a world of lying and cheating and stealing, Sloan never thought twice about looking out for the best interest of a child. children aren't right for a world of lying and cheating and stealing. children don't understand what it means for a body to be found in a ditch. would you volunteer to explain something like that, to a child?

A decade long battle of fighting for top spot between a rock and a hard place. a person can only lean so far before toppling over; before throwing themselves out with the friday morning trash. the difference between giving up in this world is the difference between the ditch and as far away as one can get without really being gone.

He was as bright as the afternoon sun when he walked into a room. Monday mornings were a bit different because the previous two days' and nights' events were anything but bright. he wasn't dark in an offensive or morbid way because his darkness didn't result from a lack of light. his darkness came, rather, from an absence of hopefulness. in a world where you have to be your biggest cheerleader, he was cheering for everybody but himself.

haiku (vi)

when you're tired of 

picking sides stop picking and

choose yourself instead.

haiku (v)

people in your life

they come and they go and then

you ask them to stay.

TwistedTwins Productions and IndustryWorks Picture House presents...

 watch the trailer here

She was just another eager student trying to find the American Dream - trying to reach the ideas of happiness and success by working hard, impressing her professors, and becoming a surgeon.

She was almost there.

But can you imagine what happened to the beautiful brunette who dropped out of med school?

I doubt it.

Anxious to follow in the footsteps of her highly-regarded professor, while accepting the role of starving student, the ambitious Mary Mason has everything in her to be a surgeon. She's intelligent and dedicated and focused to the point of obsession. She will perform her way through American Mary, and into the shockingly dark world she so desires for herself.

This character-driven feature introduces the word "clinical" to us in the simplest of terms.

The definition of the word changes, however, as we watch in stylized horror as the world Mary believed in goes from dark to darker.

We see it as analytic in the way Mary proceeds by example of her ideal surgeon and mentor, Dr. Grant.

We watch it evolve into the detached and messy world of underground cosmetic surgeries first brought about to her in the form of five thousand cold hard cash.

When the reality she believed to be her American Dream is traumatically twisted by those she looked up to, Mary twists herself further into a world that is entirely new yet exactly her forte. In a world where money and success seem to be far in the distance yet hand-in-hand, Mary finds an ally in Billy Barker, a strip-joint owner who hands her the former and leads her to discover the latter. But in a world as numb and harsh as the underground, Mary quickly becomes Doctor Mason, a med. school drop-out performing at-home-surgery... for her life.

The carefully constructed cast includes identical twin writers and directors, Jen and Sylvia Soska; the Twisted Twins, first stepping into the independent horror scene with their 2009 feature film, 'Dead Hooker in a Trunk.'

Mary Mason, played by Katharine Isabelle (Ginger Snaps) rules the leading role in this horror while enduring the transformation of scholarly student to serial slasher.

Billy Barker, the emotionless yet charming owner of the Bourbon A Go-Go gentleman's club, is played by Antonio Cupo (Dark Angel).

While Mary's obsession to pursue the ultimate American Dream grows darker, Billy's obsession with his newest girl at the club grows fonder. Instead, now Mary is the one becoming detached. Instead, now Billy is the one becoming emotional.

Mary soon discovers that you can't get emotional while you're cutting into somebody, and in the words of her mentor, 'don't fuck up,' may mean don't mistake the allure of money and success as the ultimate American Dream.

what do you call 1000 hippies falling from the sky?

take your ass off the sofa and put it on the ground.

the cement the grass the wooden step whatever works.

you're here today because you've been lucky.

maybe you've been loving and living and longing for something else

but for right now you're here and here you are.

breathing is different with your eyes closed.

breathe in,

but close your eyes first and it's something else.

the air wanders through like an after-dinner mint

refreshing.

strong.

necessary.

different.

Different is always good because it's not the same and if we think of it that way then we're thinking straight.

can you imagine a world that was different from ours yet entirely

the same?

what would we call it?

similar?

breathe out,

but open your eyes this time and see that you're living.

feel yourself in this world

feel the cement the grass the wood step underneath your ass

take it in and believe that this is the only place you're supposed to be right now

and right now this is the place for you.

Now is everything you've been living and loving and longing for.

can you imagine it any other way?

satisfied?

some would call it, Acid Rain.

haiku (iv)

dog day afternoon

save all your loving for me

i'll do it for you.

haiku (iii)

Vancouver, in love

bicycles, coffee, vintage:

a shop a corner