do you like fear and loathing?

when it gets to december i get confused.

mostly because i have no idea where i've been for the past eleven months.

2011 went by so fast. too fast. maybe most years are this way but i'm not complaining.

it's nice when the year goes by fast because it means that it was a productive year.

another year of constant movement and thought process and homework and work and homework.

and then some more.

i love every single minute of every twelve hours of every day i spend at school.

even when i swear at our editing programs for freezing and even when i go to general education courses.

television is a world away from radio and i miss radio and i love television and i have no idea where i want to go for my practicum but its been the best experience of my life.

university.

being an anchor is exhiliarating. the pressure of a deadline and the rush of being live-on-air is like nothing i have ever felt. and it's happening right now.

my last semester of university is going to be outstanding and that's saying nothing at all.

back to december..

i have no job because the landlord that my company was leasing from had the property taken away by the bank. tapped out. empty. shitty, shitty bang bang.

i went to work last wednesday only to find out that i would be out of a job by the weekend.

and so friday was the last day at The Ranch House.

(remember: what happens at The Ranch, STAYS AT THE RANCH)

nobody will ever understand the relationship that i had with my regulars. like clock-work they would be there each day after they got off work. and like clock-work i would be there almost every day after school. i would work until midnight or later and then wake up at five to run.

running gave me that break between the neverending cycle of homework and work. it wasn't long but it was just enough time to let me escape from the nuts of things.

and then i was back at school by no later than 7:30 AM.

i looked forward to work mostly because of how much of a family we were but it had a lot to do with how much i was needed. i would open the restaurant at four or five and then i would close the place down; turn off the OPEN sign and lock the doors.

i love that place and i love those people and it's a sad, sad story but it let me into some incredible lives and for that i am thankful.

hopefully i'll have a new job by the next entry.

hopefully i'll have a job in the industry.

i'm a people person, an actress, an addict, a spy

i'm a busy girl and that's how i want it.

that's how i like it and it should stay this way for a long time.

if i don't feel the pressure, the rush, the constant movement -

i get bored.

and you wouldn't like me when i'm bored.