sometimes,
she wondered whether or not she actually knew what love was
she didn't mean the kind of love that she talks about
when she leaves the house and says, "bye mom, love you"
or when she gets off the phone with her best friend saying, "love you too"
she knew all about that
that kind of love was just there
background
like bricks in a wall
it wasn't something she ever even gave much thought to
it wasn't something that could soar like a bird
or plummet like a stone
it wasn't an emotion that could be stretched one way or the other
yet remain the same
it wasn't, in other words,
the kind of emotion that overwhelmed her to no end
the kind that left her exposed, confused, ecstatic, and terrified
all at once.
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