gee pee ay ... and then some

A's and B's and thankfully no C's.

three point six two

only to drop after the final grade for COMM 1240 goes through the system

B+ in the course i'm finalizing my program in.

that's all the information i'm willing to divulge without bursting into tears.

PSYCHE>>>

i will not cry about my grades.

i'm going to be a broadcaster one day, and i know this.

i'm going to graduate in less than one year from today and i'll be proud of myself.

what the hell is a GPA anyways?

(i'm rambling and i'm good at it.)

COMM 1247 and COMM 1248

Extended Broadcast TV Production and Documentary/Filmmaking

it's a beautiful thing, the last semester of university

it is one santa claus down the chimney away

it's around the corner

barely ten days into The New Year

the year of 2012

its a two-year program and i wish it was four

there's so much more to learn. there are so many brains to pick in that faculty.

The Faculty of Communications Studies, my home.

T-Wing

T119

you'll find me there every day for another four months straight.

kicking and screaming and scared shitless

you'll need a card to get in through the doors, by the way.

(if you thought i was rambling before, just wait...)

the first time i heard about a GPA was obviously in high school

"you need a good GPA to get into university", they said.

"what the hell is a GPA and can i trade a Quarter of weed for a good one?"

no, sorry.

"you can, however, excel in five General Education courses (that might have nothing to do with your program) to boost it."

'GPA boosters' - they call these Gen. Ed. courses.

after taking six of these "GPA boosters" in the course of a year and a half at university, let me tell you about the "boosting" they offer:

General Education courses are boring; just as the name explains it: "General"

they boost your stress level with 12-page recommendation reports.

they boost your caffeine intake from the normal three-cups-a-day to five cups.

they boost your ability to scream louder and for a longer period of time.

and lastly, they boost your need to complain.

in order to survive all the General Education courses your program or diploma or degree requires of you, there are two things you need to remember.

1. if you cannot understand the name of the course, DNR (do not register)
2. if your professor is on RateMyProfessors.com, check him/her out (and possibly DNR)

you will despise a course that you have no interest in.
you will despise a professor who was rated two point six out of five.
you will despise that your GPA was not "boosted" by this shitty course you've been required to take.
and you will despise not having listened to my #1 and #2

the professor will make the difference. all the difference in the world (in the semester).
REAL-LIFE EXAMPLE:
knowing that i needed to complete one of three GNED-1401, GNED-1402, and GNED-1403 courses, i decided to see what was available.
the only class that worked with my program's schedule was for:
GNED-1402 Writing for the Professions
(according to my #1 thing to remember, i was safe.)
continuing...
Professor: KKK (literally, her initials)
and now for my #2 (go to URL bar and type in: http://www.ratemyprofessors.com/)

the first comment written about this professor:

"i wanna die to be in her class. If you are an international student, do not
choose her class. You will feel like living in the hell."

OKAY, so i'm not an international student, still sorta safe.

the first comment written about this professor in 2011:

"I dont think I have ever been as scared of a prof as I have of K. Good teacher, knows her stuff but also a hard marker. For her class, become good friends with the writing centre otherwise you will fail.. as she tells the class every class."

OKAY, not getting any better here... I can handle the scary part but nobody wants a prof who is a hard marker and who the hell wants to become good friends with the writing centre when your professor has her Bachelor's in English?

so what did i do?
i registered for this course that would apparently make me feel like i'm living in the hell.
and it wasn't awful. i called it the course from hell because KKK is a funny lady and a nice lady but she is a horrible professor. all she did was tell us that if she didn't like our work, we wouldn't be getting a very good mark. (does that mean our work is right or wrong, or do you care?)
every single day we were given at least one assignment (sometimes three). and when were these assignments due?
on the last day of classes. December 6.
keep in mind this course runs an hour and a half every day that starts with a T
and also keep in mind that she told us how she would be marking these daily assignments, the week before they were due:

0 missing = A
1 missing = A-
2 missing = B+
3 missing = B
4 missing = B-
and so on
and so forth
until you have 10 missing, then you FAIL

i've been so fortunate to have access to the technology, the state-of-the-art studio, and the brains of the faculty, that i have never experienced a horrible professor in university.

KKK (once again, yes, legitimate initials) is the worst professor i have had in university. and i havent been in university for all that long.
am i leaving out the possible fact that because KKK teaches students who most likely can't stand her General Education courses, she marks according to her personal interests? yes, probably.

but when you tell your students that the font they chose for their name on their own, personal resume was "weird" - you're not going to be nominated for Professor of the Year any time soon or ever, girlfriend.
KKK, you're a nice lady and your jokes are terrible and the way you always put the word "man" at the end of sentences did not make you fit in or relate better to us university kids.

REAL-LIFE EXAMPLE:
"there's no way you can separate two independent clauses with a comma, man!"

(not that this matters, but she does have a lovely Indian-American accent)

and at last...

The Moral Of The Story

what started out as a talk about GPAs turned into a whine-fest about my horrible General Education professor BUT you may have laughed once or twice if you have experienced similar situations with Gen. Ed. courses and professors in post-secondary school.

I love university. I love writing. I love reading and being around literature in general.
I do not however love the aforementioned professor, and this is OK.

if you want a "good" GPA, figure out what a "good" GPA is to you.
set the goal and go for it. there's not really a better way around it.
there are great ways to avoid getting a possibly "shitty" or "not-good" GPA
but it's up to you, kids.

the bottom line in this moral is,

when she tells the class that her initials are KKK, consider dropping the course and getting a W on your transcript, before you go through the course and get an F
so much for a GPA BOOST.
thanks I guess, but I already take my B+ vitamins before i leave for school in the morning.

do you like fear and loathing?

when it gets to december i get confused.

mostly because i have no idea where i've been for the past eleven months.

2011 went by so fast. too fast. maybe most years are this way but i'm not complaining.

it's nice when the year goes by fast because it means that it was a productive year.

another year of constant movement and thought process and homework and work and homework.

and then some more.

i love every single minute of every twelve hours of every day i spend at school.

even when i swear at our editing programs for freezing and even when i go to general education courses.

television is a world away from radio and i miss radio and i love television and i have no idea where i want to go for my practicum but its been the best experience of my life.

university.

being an anchor is exhiliarating. the pressure of a deadline and the rush of being live-on-air is like nothing i have ever felt. and it's happening right now.

my last semester of university is going to be outstanding and that's saying nothing at all.

back to december..

i have no job because the landlord that my company was leasing from had the property taken away by the bank. tapped out. empty. shitty, shitty bang bang.

i went to work last wednesday only to find out that i would be out of a job by the weekend.

and so friday was the last day at The Ranch House.

(remember: what happens at The Ranch, STAYS AT THE RANCH)

nobody will ever understand the relationship that i had with my regulars. like clock-work they would be there each day after they got off work. and like clock-work i would be there almost every day after school. i would work until midnight or later and then wake up at five to run.

running gave me that break between the neverending cycle of homework and work. it wasn't long but it was just enough time to let me escape from the nuts of things.

and then i was back at school by no later than 7:30 AM.

i looked forward to work mostly because of how much of a family we were but it had a lot to do with how much i was needed. i would open the restaurant at four or five and then i would close the place down; turn off the OPEN sign and lock the doors.

i love that place and i love those people and it's a sad, sad story but it let me into some incredible lives and for that i am thankful.

hopefully i'll have a new job by the next entry.

hopefully i'll have a job in the industry.

i'm a people person, an actress, an addict, a spy

i'm a busy girl and that's how i want it.

that's how i like it and it should stay this way for a long time.

if i don't feel the pressure, the rush, the constant movement -

i get bored.

and you wouldn't like me when i'm bored.

vivono parole amore

quando qualcosa lascia senza fiato

prendere un minuto e lasciarsi andare
tenere il fiato solo un po 'più

sforzati di riprendere il fiato

sforzati di voler vivere

sure shot.

'cause you can't and you won't and you don't stop.

riding bikes along the ocean

the birds will wake you up at five
they are crows and seagulls and probably more that i don't know the names of
the smell of coffee comes next and it's richer than Kanye
good morning to the prince and princess and you, mr. loony bird!
but of course our patient.

breathe in the air and there's nothing like it because there's no place like the city
two young women with four, four-legged machines covered in fur
'wow, lots of dogs, big dogs, nice dogs, beautiful.'
and it was.
set me up on main street with a coffee and i'll treat it just like a television
the colours and sounds that move and change with the street lights
always flashing green as if the only thing to do is go
and so i went.

there is a kind of therapy in changing your surroundings-
in breathing in a different kind of air; the salty kind
the kind that's been sitting on a shelf for years and years only to be experienced by cracking a spine and fanning paper that's turned yellow with time
but it's sweeter than you can even imagine.

the street names are familiar and the bus passes every eight minutes and the canadian tire has the most beautiful rooftop parking lot i have ever seen
there's a starbucks on every corner but at least three independent cafes in between
and the jewish subway and the trendy taco place and enough sushi to give J.K. Rowling a run for her money in trilogies
one week of not wondering what time it is leaves you exhilarated and lost
and it's the best kind of lost you'll ever know

we left our bikes with the valet that night and then we rode home buzzed-
with the couples and their dogs; the teenagers and their longboards; the man that mostly lives under the tree...
and it was more beautiful than i can type here
there's just so much that i'm leaving out
there's just nothing like...

take a number

talking is easy when there are so many stories to tell
being quiet is easy too, because there's always so much on our minds
put us in the same room with a math equation and he'll solve it first but he'd never be able to out-read me
drop us off in the middle of nowhere, we'll find our way back.
you know how there's always one foot that's bigger than the other? - we're like that.
if i'm not the bigger foot then i'm definitely the bigger mouth
it's been three and a half years and we still haven't figured it out.

waiting makes your brain hurt sometimes
for the mail, test results, the bus, traffic, work to end...
people who wait amaze me-
(i am horrible at waiting)
the people in that book of world records are the ones;
"World's Longest Fingernails!"
waiting for your fingernails to grow that long is incredible and you'd have to have a personal assistant or someone to do everything for you because putting your clothes on and eating and mowing the lawn would be almost impossible but definitely risky.
so congratulations to the man who made it into the book with all the world records for having the
longest. fingernails. ever.

-waiting isn't easy or fun
unless you're sitting in a roller coaster waiting to get to the top; because then it's both
easy and fun
it's easy because all you're doing is sitting there and it's fun because you know after you've finished waiting for the 'chick' 'chick' 'chick'-ing of the chain up the track, you're heading DOWN!
and aren't roller coasters FUN?!

THROW YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR
FEEL THE WIND IN YOUR HAIR

someone waited three and a half years once for me to come around
and i finally might be starting to- even if i have to take a number myself.

summer is going by faster than you think.
don't say i didn't warn you.

happy birth-day. or, "would you be my godmother?"

I CRIED IN YOUR ARMS
and it was the first time
cross your fingers for no next time but i'm not making any promises
i'm a cancer, baby
you know what they say about a cancer and a taurus.
THEY'RE COMFORTABLE
"you see, with him and i; he has his life with his work and friends and family and i have my life with my work and friends and family and then, then we have our life together. and i think that's the way it should be."
YOU'RE THE BEST
along with the girls and the kids from class
who knew that growing up could be so easy
I DIDN'T
...expect anything from either of you
but the world is weird and life is even worse
and once you make sense of it you get bored
ONLY BORING PEOPLE ARE BORED
mi scusi, ma io beva un po 'più di quanto dovrei stasera
"if it's your birthday then why aren't you drinking?"
"i don't drink."
"so what do you do?"
"i'm a bartender."
AND I'M A BIG GIRL NOW
big enough for a relationship
big enough to be a godmother
big enough to drink anywhere in the country
big enough for this world
and big enough to cry. in your arms.

here comes the rain again

it's here again
not the same as always because it's never been the same since
this year there's more
there's ours and yours
there's him and every single thing imaginable
there's him thinking that it means you all get to be kings for a day
there's him and that thing called sarcasm
there's his one-month-old instead of his foot-long bong
there's his mouth full of Denny's
there's his sixth beer by 2 pm
there's his voice in the back of my mind
singing
always singing

falling on my head like a memory
falling on my head like a new emotion

who needs a subject when you've got a past like ours?

there are people in your life that distance just can't touch
after months, you'll sit down and talk like there's no tomorrow
after months of zero conversation.
it's not about "what's new?"
it's about what's old and what's important to remember
there are people in your life that distance just can't touch after ten, eleven years
(can you believe its been over a decade?)
words can't explain how thankful i am that after so long we are still here
we're still sane and we're still eight years old and we're still the friends we're supposed to be
thank you for being you and thank you for being back

why yes, i'm familiar with needles

you know when you need to get a needle in your arm and you know that it's just a little needle and it shouldn't hurt bad or even at all but you still hold your breath when whoever it is that's about to give you the injection says, "now you'll just feel a pinch."
and then it happens and it's already over and there isn't any blood but there is a band-aid and now it's on your arm over top a little piece of cotton and the same voice says, "so that's it, all done!"
you're so annoyed that you held your breath for a "pinch" and you're also annoyed because you have to walk around with a piece of cotton taped to your arm with a band-aid.
but what if the needle got stuck in your arm? then the "pinch" would turn into a "throb" and then the throb would turn into an "ache" and then the ache would turn into a full-on "pain"
you are in so much pain now and if you're still holding your breath then you're in a serious amount of pain and you actually might want to be careful in case you pass out.
now while all of this is happening, someone comes up and tells you that you're not a very nice person and maybe they actually use the word mean.
would you say that this would bother you more, less, or about the same amount as the needle that is currently stuck in your arm?
you probably can't hear anything other than yourself screaming because let me remind you, THERE IS A NEEDLE STICKING OUT OF YOUR ARM.
anything trying to take your attention away from the needle means nothing
you can feel nothing but the needle and then soon enough, you can't even feel the needle anymore.
how many different ways could you explain your annoyance of the needle? ten, twenty, fifty?
you can get mad at the nurse or the doctor or whoever it was but that's not going to get the needle out and you could tell the nurse or the doctor or whoever it was that they are mean but that's not going to make you feel any better and that's not going to make you forget about the needle.
so what can you do?
you cut your arm off.
you cut your arm off and you forget that you even got a needle in the first place.

back on the right side

it's an interesting place, i have that to admit.
i love talking but i've never hated it more.
"do you know why you're in here?"
i'm used to the question by now but it will never be useful.
how many addicts are going to tell you, no- i have no fucking idea why i'm here ?
aren't i here for the same reason that he's here,
and him and her as well?
probably, probably not.
a better question might be, "why aren't you out there?"
i was a brick wall. i was the girl who sat by the window.
i was lisbeth salander.
i was not a bad person getting good, i was a sick person getting better.
does that answer your question?
don't thank me, thank mr. tyler.
he couldn't have said it better under the influence.

or, myself

i'm only using you for the sex, and i hope you know that.
well i'm only using you because you're easy.
i'm not easy.
babe, you're pretty easy.
did you just call me babe?
is that not allowed?
you really think i'm easy?
well you're easy on the eyes.
have i ever told you how funny you are?
no, but you can tell me again.
babe, you're funny.
did you just call me babe?
remind me why we're together.

talking to a brick wall

no offence, but why do you have a boyfriend?
what kind of a question is that?
i think it's a pretty standard question.
i have a boyfriend because he asked me to be his girlfriend and i said okay.
you said, okay?
i mean yes, i said yes.
was it yes or was it okay?
what's the difference?
so you're saying there is no difference?
i think this conversation is going nowhere, fast.
i think you're avoiding the question.
what question?

she went that-a way

i had a dream that i was running that's all i did i just kept running and running it was horrible i was wet and dirty and cold and hot and sore. where was i going?

OMT

it all started when i rang the after-hours bell.
the security guys were listening to LoveLine and i laughed as i signed in because all i heard was,
"well we started using toys a couple months ago..."
the funniest part is what they didn't know-
i was listening on the drive over.
we had nintendo and a thermos full of the hot black stuff.
did i really zone out and imagine that mario and luigi had a secret brother named sal?

we're fifty cents away from a diploma, the big five-oh

hour one: twenty minutes each to talk about ourselves and what we love and what we don't love and who; we concluded that what happened at LCB stays at LCB
hour two: interpreting dreams and the lights upstairs or lack thereof
hour three: psycho boyfriends and psycho girlfriends
hour four: mixtapes and movies and demotapes and not one of us cracked open a mic
hour five: egos. actually, we dedicated a little bit of each hour specifically to egos; we also went on an adventure during the fifth hour- the stairs led us to the floors above and then floors above floors
hour six: we'd been talking for five hours and still, not one of us had cracked open a mic so we finished our sentences and realized what time it was. the overnight that overruled.
we opened the mic to say goodbye and tell everybody but nobody that we'd been there all along

young and restless

i've begun drawing the same conclusions for nearly everything it happened for reasons we do not know actually, i'm wrong one of us knows probably you probably me who cares, really we're both smart enough to know that if talking was what needed to happen, someone would have opened their mouth everything happens for a reason that is all.

the chase

it's the most fun between us, isn't it? we tell each other that it's not just about the sex but all we ever do is have sex this thing that we have created is seriously fun though, i'm not giving it enough credit just bed sheets and movie after movie nothing too fancy or over-the-top because neither of us care about that really maybe if we keep laying here we'll become part of the bed; part of each other smile, i don't want to ever forget what it looks like coming over to watch a movie means i'm coming over to watch a movie maybe for everyone except us why is it we can't sit still when we're together? smoke breaks take twice as long because we have to find our clothes, put them back on and just when someone's found a lighter, we'll wrestle for it, declare a winner, we get sucked back in. and so i've realized something, just this minute really, it doesn't matter what either of us wants for right now, we want each other

do you think you guys can handle the R-rated version?

When Ed Kang finished speaking for our class that monday night, there was one thing that really floored me, his age. after all of his crazy ass stories about prostituting women and getting involved in things that aren’t normal for us, i was truly amazed at his sense of inner peace and maturity.

When he asked us if we wanted the sugarcoated version or if we could handle the R-rated version, i looked over at Bryan and i remember giving him the eye-brow thinking, what kind of skeletons is this guy packing in his closet? never would i have imagined that he was involved in the things that he told us about. listening to him was like reading subtitles for a movie that was too graphic to watch; but he didn’t make me uncomfortable at all. the way he spoke was so colloquial, so effortless – of course it’s not the first time he’s been in front of people and certainly not the last. Ed Kang made an uncomfortable topic, approachable because, i think, of where he is today in his life.

Ed is a super rad guy. he wasn’t talking just to run his mouth; he was talking to run our minds. you can tell that he likes the surprise in an audience’s face when he tells us his story. And i feel like that is something important to the speaker itself; satisfaction. i always go into my speeches thinking, i want people to be impressed with my speech or i want people to learn things, but Ed made me realize that i, as the speaker should go into and come out of speeches satisfied and smarter. isn’t it just as much about me as it is about the audience? there were so many people in the room and sometimes it was as if he was talking only to you. i went home that night and just kept thinking about how young he was when he got involved in all of that shady business and how far he’s come. i thought about how young he still is and about how much more he can accomplish.

Ed is a great speaker because he’s very easy to listen to. he’s just the right amount of funny and just the right amount of serious. public speaking has taught me that it’s not about how long or short or interesting someone’s topic is, it’s more about what you can take away from it; even if you only learn one thing, you still learned something. i know Ed wants us to think big about life and reach inside of ourselves to pull out every little piece of greatness and use that to make even more greatness. he did a fantastic job at turning himself around and “re-inventing” his own life. i learned more than just one thing from Ed’s speech and it goes beyond approach and technique.

wish i could say i'm sorry but sorry isn't what you need to hear

i've been trying to figure this out for a long time you can say that i gave up and that the decisions were mine and okay, i'll take the responsibility if it makes you feel any better, i'll even take the blame but what remains is the fact that there's nothing that i wouldn't want for you because you are a temple of brilliance there isn't a thing that you wouldn't be able to accomplish i'm proud of you for being in my life and i'm proud of you for loving me i'm actually thrilled that you had the guts to run and hide i guess we can both agree that it was a long time coming i liked the expectations we could not meet i liked the walls we built i like the challenges that we set up for each other maybe you took them too seriously maybe i didn't take them seriously enough the end came because there was nowhere left to go.

psychosis

sitting across the table for however long it was
was awkward
there were only two bodies at the table but there were more people than that
i didn't exactly want to leave, but i was uncertain about staying
of course i wanted to hear the story
the one about Alonzo
the one about the Awakening
i was truly happy for your feet to be on a different path; a new path
because like i said: he had the same thing
being spiritual helps some people; and in that sense you were two of a kind
and you were happy, too

but even though the lights were on, nobody was home

there was no focus in your eyes
and that train you spoke about, never even pulled into the station
you said it's easy to lose and you were right
it's even easier to lose when there is more than one person trying to claim it
obviously we could have left it on better terms
and obviously had i known that i was going to be the last person to see you,
i would have said that extra sentence or four
i would have listened better
i would have told you that you mean more than you feel

it looks like we both have on our swim suits but we're standing on the edge of the dock

it doesn't break my heart that you never told me earlier
it doesn't break my heart that looking into your eyes answered nothing
it doesn't break my heart that this whole thing is bigger than the both of us

when we left the locker in opposite directions
and i just said 'bye'
that's what broke my heart

the things that connect us

Hi Adriana,

My name is Joy and I picked up your book, Little Bee, while I was vacationing in beautiful Jamaica. I read most of the book while lying on the beach but finished the book on Christmas day on the airplane home to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in the USA. I just recently picked the book up to find a spot for it on the shelf and noticed your note inside. To answer your question, yes, I thoroughly enjoyed the book, couldn't put it down. I pictured Little Bee in my mind and cheered for her survival every page. Thank you for leaving the book in Jamaica. I have decided not to let it sit on my book shelf but will offer it up for a friend to read and hope it makes another journey.

Fondly,
Joy

eddie you ok?

he hasn't an enemy in the world - but all of his friends hate him
-eddie cantor

everything was going right for a while

and then one day there was bad news
and for a few days after the bad news there's a length of time
and it's called self-reflection
one of the things that seperates humans from animals
the ability to self-reflect
there's the initial shock
pause, replay the words
your mind creates its own assembly line of thought
but you don't dwell on it because it is out of your control
but remember after the plane hit the first tower, another plane came and hit the other one?
anything can happen in this world, you see
and everything does happen - day by day
so you think how is this even possible
but of course it is
even more shock
and it's huge, and it's tragic
but there's just no way that it happened
no, it definitely did
you'll skip out on the ceremonies because you're defiant
and then at the end of the day it's gone from your mind
only to be recalled on other days, in other conversations
you haven't had to deal with anything this heavy in a while but you'll manage it because if you don't then what's the point?
we're all here to learn
every single one of us is trying to figure it out
here we are again back down that same alley
and so the plan is
live each day with a mind that's available
listen and observe and act with good intentions
send out energy that will win the hearts of everybody
and while you cannot save someone who doesn't want to be saved
or change someone who doesnt want to be changed
it will happen if it needs to and it will happen for a reason
and when the time comes there will be duties paid
you can bet your ass
every day you will make the best of it but you will know what you've been part of
where you've come from, in a sense
who you have chosen to be before; the same person you cannot grow out of
you ran with the devil and left a trail of excuses

don't tell me that it's over, stand up
i'm not nervous anymore
i feel my vision slipping in and out of focus
i'm pushing on
i'm ok
because every day i'm still in love with
one new thing

h8 days a week

if you could change one thing
about yourself what would it be?
if you could erase one relationship
remove an entire year
take back a whole dialogue -would you do it?

every thursday
every friday
every saturday
every sunday
every week
until it's better
til i'm better

no woman no cry (also referred to as) angry little girls

don't be so silly.
in this great future,
you can't forget your past.

the morning news

step back for a minute and take the time to love yourself

love yourself for everything that you're worth because you

are worth it all.

since day one back in september, it has been thrilling-
this reality that i have become part of
because that's what i wanted, right?
i wanted to be rid of the casualties of high school drama
i needed to find myself something bigger
i had to see myself in the world -and i had to believe it all, too
believe it possible

my mind runs constantly and it always has but now
i can feel it and it feels heavier than ever before
so i get out of bed in the morning and i make a coffee and watch the news or something even more practical like the weather network
slowly but surely i am making my way through all of this
and i know it because i'm starting to think about bigger things
heavier things
and i will get so excited that all i can manage to do is
smile
to hear someone ask why is obviously normal
but if you truely know me then you'll know what smiling means

so now here i am
one-quarter.
twenty-five percent.
halfway to being halfway there.

i have been falling together since september
suddenly and simply
and passionately
i'm not saying that everything is exactly how i want it to be
but it's pretty damn close

because i took a step back for just a minute
and i stopped trying to please myself-
and i started to take myself seriously
i started to take all of this seriously
because everything that i was surrounded by right in that very minute
was worth it all

and now?
now that i'm thrilled to get out of bed
now that i'm heading in the direction of my dreams
well, i guess we'll see

but i've never been so sure of myself.

cheers

this is another chance for me to get it right
happy new year ladies and gentlemen