psychosis

sitting across the table for however long it was
was awkward
there were only two bodies at the table but there were more people than that
i didn't exactly want to leave, but i was uncertain about staying
of course i wanted to hear the story
the one about Alonzo
the one about the Awakening
i was truly happy for your feet to be on a different path; a new path
because like i said: he had the same thing
being spiritual helps some people; and in that sense you were two of a kind
and you were happy, too

but even though the lights were on, nobody was home

there was no focus in your eyes
and that train you spoke about, never even pulled into the station
you said it's easy to lose and you were right
it's even easier to lose when there is more than one person trying to claim it
obviously we could have left it on better terms
and obviously had i known that i was going to be the last person to see you,
i would have said that extra sentence or four
i would have listened better
i would have told you that you mean more than you feel

it looks like we both have on our swim suits but we're standing on the edge of the dock

it doesn't break my heart that you never told me earlier
it doesn't break my heart that looking into your eyes answered nothing
it doesn't break my heart that this whole thing is bigger than the both of us

when we left the locker in opposite directions
and i just said 'bye'
that's what broke my heart