Living till 100

I think I have a pretty unique concept when it comes to getting older.
I've kept wanting to grow up; I guess I've just always loved to learn.

My grandfather raised me to be confident and happy.
My mother taught me how to be patient and kind (though she probably won't agree with the patience bit) and my grandma taught me so many things about cooking and remedy that I will cherish forever.

We are who we've become because of these people and their lessons.

First I wanted to be a dancer. Then a martial artist. Then an artist, working in clothing design and customization. After this I thought about what I really enjoy doing; reading, writing, talking, among other things. I love story-telling and creating things for people to relate to and learn from. Current events, news and information are things I've been passionate about and I continue to expand these views. And so I took Broadcasting.

Now if I could choose an occupation it would be: Professional Learner.

Living in our society we are faced with a plethora of information in the form of articles, blogs, reviews, notifications and video. And because of the worldwide information directory known as, Google - we can receive answers instantly. We place orders that will come right to our door. We reconnect with people we knew in junior high school. We enroll in courses and educate ourselves on numerous topics. We live with all of these things in our purse or back pocket today.

I wish I could live to be 100.
I doubt I'll make it to that age with all the hormones they inject into our produce.
People used to live for hundreds of years; remember Moses? Me neither, but I know he got real old.
Wouldn't it be amazing to live that long? Most people I ask say, no.

Excuse Me?
How could you not want to live that long?

Give me one good reason - other than if you were unable to perform daily functions like going to the washroom and brushing your teeth, etc. why you would prefer not to live 100 years.

Half-Century Anniversary

It goes without saying FIFTY YEARS is a long time.
Not to mention being married to someone that long. It probably seems like a dream.

But who am I to know a thing about marriage? About building a future and a family?

Some people wait fifty years just to meet their soulmate - the one they'll spend a lifetime with.
Some have to endure the pain of watching the love of their life leave them early. These people don't get to watch their children's children turn into adults. They don't have the opportunity.

A fifty-year marriage is exceptional in a lot of ways.

My grandparents celebrated 50 years together; a milestone only rare couples reach.
A half-century full of memories and hardship and laughter and triumph. I want to use the word inspiration but I don't even think that does them justice. They are my best friends.

When you have met someone who causes you to think about your future it's difficult to imagine what it will feel like after ten or fifteen years. Some people still value the tradition and would prefer to be happily married before starting a family. But today we've learned how to take advantage by staying common-law instead. And then if we really think about today, and what being married means to our generation...yeah, it can be a bit terrifying.
But 50 years ago there were people getting married for the all the wrong reasons too.

My grandparents being nearly ten years apart in age have this almost strange balance.
Grandma is black or white about everything. If she doesn't like something then it's not good for anyone. As the ultimate-homemaker she can do no wrong. And my Grandpa has this insatiable need to know more about everything. He loves technology which may seem odd for a man in his mid-70s but maybe that's just it - because if something isn't working he will work until it does. Grandma would have thrown it out already.
Together they have these hearts filled with so much love it's almost unbelievable.
I feel so blessed just to call myself part of both of them. 


Marriage was always something to be taken seriously. You do it once.
And I think at seventeen years old my Grandmother was the most courageous young woman I'll ever never-know. Because now she is 66 and experienced in so many ways.
Ways that I couldn't possibly understand.
Why? Because it's rare for marriages to last five, ten years today.
But they show everyone that it's possible for a love to last...and last.

A Toast:

We would be nowhere without you two.
Literally, we would not exist.
The man of many treasures, and a woman of many recipes. 
Between the two, nobody gets bored or goes hungry. ever.

I'm so proud of the things you did; the sacrifices you have made over the years...even though I don't believe you only had 20$ when you came here to Canada. But we'll say you did.
And I love you more than I will live to explain.
My world revolves around you two, at the centre of it all.

The roots of a family tree are formed from the love of two hearts.
(and a lot of work, too)
Here's to you. Happy Anniversary.

planning an Anniversary

I cannot tell you how difficult it is to put together a 50th anniversary party.
My Mother and I have been trying to figure out a theme or something like that?

Celebrating 50 years together is HUGE. What can you present two people who have spent half a century together with? Chocolates and Flowers are an okay gift - a bottle of vino, even. But it just doesn't seem like it's enough.

I have this tattoo on my arm that was the first tattoo I ever got for me.
It's the date my grandparent's were married. August 21, 1965
This is the day a large portion of my family's roots began and I feel so blessed to have all four of my grandparents still in my life years later now at twenty-something. What my grandfather did by moving to this country was enormous not only for himself as a young adult immigrating to Canada but for generations to come. When he decided to marry my grandmother he knew she was only seventeen but he saw the rest of his life in her and it amazes me every day. It amazes me that my grandma could have been so brave at such an early age. I know I have large shoes to fill.

These two deserve everything. And yet - they have it all.
They've spent the last fifty years perfecting their way of doing things, supporting their family and treating their friends. All this time they have watched their children and grandchildren grow into parents and young adults themselves.
So what can you do you do for these special and rare people?
The ones we will always look up to and who will always watch over us.
They know more about us than we could care to understand.


What To Do For A 50th Anniversary

Decorate in GOLD. This is their Golden Anniversary! Go big!

Make a Playlist. Parties need music and this is your chance to show them you know their style.

Choose their favourites. When it comes to snacks or treats make sure you consider the ones they like the best, or even try going for a nostalgic feel by bringing out traditional things!

Sign a Picture Frame. One of the best mementos are quotes from family and friends. Have guests of the party sign a photo frame of the special couple and they will have a keepsake for ever.

Get them cake. Because every good celebration deserves one! And have a fancy cake made from Cakeworks or something; with their wedding picture on it. They didn't have that for their 25th anniversary.


Here's what I've come up with so far. If you have any other suggestions, help a girl out. xoxo

Post #301 For Ma

This is for you, the most beautiful woman in the world.
I wouldn't want to know what life would be like without you as my guide and spirit and deep-rooted strength. There's something I've heard before about the people who have the biggest hearts and it's that they have been through the utmost pain and hurt.

We spend our whole life living out the combination of our parents.
I've recently learned that the things our parents long to complete are almost an obligation for us. Some of our parents came specifically to this country for the fulfillment of those dreams. And as my mom says to my forgetful younger brother, 'you should kiss the ground I walk on. I gave you BIRTH.'

Yet we all give our parents a hard time and for what? Usually to get our way or prove a point, but for some - yes, those brats - it's just for spite.. And we think our parents don't know anything about us.

We may think this because we don't tell them anything.
What do you tell your parents about yourself? Sure, they watch you grow up but when they ask you where you've been and who you have been hanging out with, do you tell them? Do you let your parents into a little or a big part of your world? This has a lot to do with the strength and power of your relationship. And because we literally came from our parents the potential strength of our bonds is intense.

Today is my ma's birthday. She'd rather you not know.
She is the most incredible human being because her parents are both in their own ways, amazing. I'm just so thankful to be able to call myself part of them. Birthdays are one of my favourite things because well, it's another year we've lived! Another year of memories (or what we can remember), and another year of wisdom too. But of course the older we get and the older our children get the more evidence we see that, we're getting older.

And isn't it a good thing? To say, I've lived and lived and I'm still living. Maybe it's just hard to accept mortality. It's not even a word we often use. Here's a little not-so-secret thing: we're never really gone, we never totally leave. Mom knows this better than anyone.

And because of you, my wonderful mother, my life is.

Thank You, forever,

Your Daughter

Feeling Whole

It's no surprise things don't come easy.

The other day I was visiting with my two best friends in the whole wide world (a.k.a my maternal grandparents) and we were talking about how tough it can be to have your own company.

15 years ago my grandmother sold her Hair Salon. She was operating and working at the shop for 15 years and so it was thirty years ago that she opened up. I wasn't born then.

On Fridays I would get picked up from school by my grandpa who drove a tow truck. Man was he the coolest (still is!). 

He'd let me sit on the back of the truck and play around with the levers after showing me which one does what. I loved spending time with him and he knew it. Usually we would go to the shop to check up on the girls (a.k.a. my mother and grandma & staff) who would be working away either applying colour or chopping and texturizing. 

Sometimes Grandpa would get me popcorn chicken from KFC. 

But we wouldn't buy a drink because he had "a fridge" on the back of his truck where he kept pops. 

When you have your own company it's not really separate from your life; in a way it's really everything. This is what my Grandma tells me after explaining to her that I've begun the process of starting a business. She tells me it's not easy and, people don't appreciate you the way you think they will. 

Of course I know she's right but at the same time: nothing in life is easy (she's been telling me this for years). 

"I had six girls working for me and most of them were good, you know but some...some were just awful." 

My Grandma employed my Mother from the minute she turned 14 I think. My Mom couldn't really help manage because the other girls became jealous and started calling favouritism on my Gram. 

"We hired this one girl who started taking product home so she could do her friends and clients there. She would act like I didn't know what was going on but I knew." she says.

It's hard to feel whole when you're being taken advantage of.

When I hear the story of giving up the business I feel for my Grandma - the lady who offered her daughter a business and was turned down. She had to deal with the personal AND working lives of women; employees messing up, asking for advances or just plain stealing. A lady who worked for her once ended up stealing her entire wallet from her purse in the back. They had lockers then but didn't feel it necessary to incorporate locks; it was a small business with at most six people working. "All it takes is one," she tells me, "and your company no longer feels whole." 

And after standing and working for fifteen years my Grandmother sold the salon and retired. She was 51.

I knew I wanted to work from a young age. 

Those after-school trips to the salon allowed me to experience a working environment, and I loved it. Being right there to answer the telephone and book appointments seemed like the greatest thing. 

This was our salon and I was working! But I was seven, my Mom was newly 30 and wanted something different. She understood how easily people can choose to take advantage. That, and the fact that working alongside a bunch of PMS-ing women was not favourable. We can't expect things and not be disappointed, that's just how it works. The less expectations we have, the better chance of avoiding that disappointment. No, it's not easy to have a successful business; nothing ever is. 

It takes a serious amount of work and time and trial and error too.

It takes a whole lot.

My Grandpa used to keep cans of pop on the back of the tow truck, just behind where his seat was. They weren't in a lunchpail or cooler or "fridge" but it was, his fridge just the same. 

"They stay cold because they outside," he used to tell me. 

When you have your own company it's what you do.

You make it work.

Starting a Business

I woke up this morning thinking, I'm going to stay inside all day.
The rain has been pretty relentless over the past few days; yesterday it poured and earlier this week some suburban communities were flooding. But business goes on as usual in this city.
Now at 7:13 in the evening, the sun has made it out from behind the clouds and the storm has passed; or so it seems.

It feels like I should be outside now.

Here I am instead writing this.

I've been working on myself the last couple months wondering what I should be doing to feel better and more empowered. I love helping people and most recently I've been baking and it has made me feel really good.
Baking is a science and a passtime.
Baking has allowed me to help people who have limited options when it comes to getting the support they need. My own mother and grandmother have taught me so much when it comes to nurturing and caring for others that I feel most comfortable when I'm doing the same. It's as if they helped me figure out what I'm good at best.
So I'm here to care for you.

*


I started working when I was fourteen years old because I wanted to make money.
I didn't know anything about chequing accounts or tax contributions - I was 14.
The one thing I did know was this: buying things for myself feels good.

So I started working after school and on Saturdays and Sundays.
I made about 400$ every two weeks. And when I got my pay cheque I put 25% of it away and didn't touch it.
I did this for almost ten years.

All my jobs have been fairly independent. I've loved having the support of a team but somehow I've always thrived on my own, under pressure. When I think about how many things I've been able to treat myself with because of my work ethic it makes me happy and proud. I hope you feel the same.
When I was able to take my savings and use them as a down payment on a new house it felt insane.
I don't think I can come up with the right words to describe it but it's definitely good.
When you consider yourself and the work you do I hope it makes you happy.

The way we feel about our job affects how well we do business.
We can't forget we trade our time - the hours of our life - for money; and knowing that time is precious,
do you think you have time to waste feeling poorly about the business you do?
We can all work for someone else but then it's never completely ours; we're never really calling the shots.
It's exceptionally important to consider your business.

When I was fourteen I went into business with myself and put away 200$ a month until at the end of my first year working I had 2500$ saved up. I was spending money on food and clothes and shoes but I always saved that two hundred dollars. I guess I thought the best way to succeed in business is to be in business.

Also, if you don't try you can't fail.

* Side Note: 

If you started with 1 cent 

and doubled your money each day,

it would take less than one month

for you to become a millionaire.

Buying a House

Boy oh boy the things you can accomplish when you save your money!

Last year in February I bought a house. You can just barely see my door handle in this photo but behind this tree is my "little place" - as my grandfather calls it.

Marquis of Skyview Ranch Townhouse Calgary

 I love having my own house because it feels like it's this sanctuary I can completely claim. It's one place I know I can go to for solace and retreat. The only thing that could make my place better is having a condo management company that actually cares!!!

Last month I e-mailed in a concern I had regarding the exterior of my property and the damage which has occurred. I attached four or more photographs of the side of my house, including the pathway between and the next unit's exterior as well (both are in awful condition).

The bark mulch laid along the side of our properties has blown all over, making the black mesh/netting material underneath come loose. With weather changes and forecast thunderstorms throughout the summer months I just knew the longer this went unattended, the more damage that would result. To summarize the response I received, 

'thanks for letting us know, this was addressed in the walkaround and we are waiting for quotes.' That was last month.

Again this month I reached out to the condo management company to say I haven't heard from anyone regarding the exterior of my property; my concern raised a month prior. It seems they thought they had me at bay with a vague response but since I don't have anything better to do than pay for the house I purchased last year, they would have to hear from me again. 

As a 20-something homeowner who has saved everything she can to afford a $300,000+ townhome in BOOMING Calgary, Alberta, I don't have time for lazy property management companies. The last condo management was so awful that I had to call them - three days after a snowfall - to ask where the snow removal company was. Thankfully, within 30 minutes I heard the sound of blow-packs coming from behind my house. You can see then how it made sense for us to get a new management company in there. 

Since May 1 of this year we've had a new company managing the properties of Marquis of Skyview Ranch in Calgary. They do OK. I heard the lawnmower only once this summer but hey - at least they came. This morning I received an e-mail saying they have the quotes for repair but are awaiting "approval" to begin the work. I can understand awaiting approval if there are no concerns raised, but when a resident has issues and has been waiting longer than a month for resolution? Then it's hard to say a management company cares about who is living in the properties they manage. 

I may not be very old but I am old enough to purchase and pay for a house. 

If I did not pay the fees required of me there would be consequences, yes?

If there was an issue with my property, such as the roof falling apart, it would be MY responsibility to advise the property management company, yes? 

IF the property management company valued others like me, who diligently pay their fees and maintain and abide by the rules and regulations set out by said management company, wouldn't you think they'd resolve resident concerns?

My guess is they know very well how to build a bank account but not a clue how to build relationships.

Question: How do we find out how good property management companies are at holding up their end of the bargain? 

Before enrolling in a post-secondary course, students are known to visit ratemyprofessor.com to see if the prof is worth taking the course for. I'd like to have something like this for condo management companies where residents can post experiences they have had to deal with or issues they have needed help resolving. Before purchasing my townhouse I could have used this kind of thing.

Your Happy Place

I don't know if I ever remember feeling this way.
My head is congested with a million and a half thoughts right now because of something
that happened that caused me to feel hurt, sad and worst of all, stupid. It's similar to feeling embarrassed.
When we're not embarrassed but mad we may think irrational thoughts like,
I'm going to break something or throw something. And when we feel humiliated we want to run far, far away.
How do we find the happy place?

When I get pissed off there's a good chance I won't say much. I'm a lady of very few and specific words. So few words, in fact that sometimes when I say them, they come out backwards. I love words. I focus in on them, seek them, crave them. Words create the things we use to get what we want and so when I'm mad at you there's not much I want from you and therefore I will say few things to you. But I will go to my happy place and play out different possible resolutions for the conflict.
I don't like confrontation. The most trouble I like to get in is speeding; that's it!
So when we fight - you and me - and when you fight with someone else, think about what the reason is and be as specific as possible. Narrow it down to the exact minute and second in time that you were made to be angry or embarrassed or hurt and make it known to whomever is responsible.
Then see how they react.
And you go to your happy place wherever that is and you do what you do best
Use Your Words.

Go to your happy place and rest.

On Karma

I don't always know what's wrong with people, but there's definitely something off with everyone. You see those jealous-types who just can't stand not being involved in every single conversation. You have the 'Negative Nancys' who can't ever seem to put a positive spin on anything. The 'Poor-Me's' are constantly trying to get others to either feel sorry for them, or guilty - as if they had something to do with the person's poor luck. This is why I Love Karma.

Everybody has a dramatic complex to battle.
People can be interrogators, intimidators, Poor-Me's or aloof.
The complex you have has a lot to do with the complexes of your parents. For example: if you were raised by two people who seemed almost too busy to give you the attention you craved; always giving you vague or short answers and all the space you needed - you may end up as an interrogator, or you might become a Poor-Me. Because you didn't receive the attention you desired you might harbour a feeling of rejection; therefore making others feel lesser to make up for the lack of attention you received. If you still seek the attention your parents never gave you then you may try gaining it from others through sympathy.

I'm still trying to figure out all the details of my complex but I'm almost positive I'm aloof.

I'm unnaturally calm in high-stress situations. I almost always try to avoid conflict or drama of any kind. When someone else is going through a difficult time I enjoy being the confident one and helping them work through emotions. People ask me how I don't "lose my mind" when dealing with things that most have little patience for. I guess I just play it cool.

The tough thing about a complex is how many of us don't understand or believe we have them. I know how difficult it can be to convince an intimidator their only real need is to feel loved. It's not easy to open up and accept our personal flaws. We do our best to hide them from the world. We give off convoluted impressions because it makes us seem "interesting". Does it?
Or does it only make us seem more flawed?

Karma is explained as the spiritual principle of cause and effect.
Meaning: if you take advantage of someone, in the future you're bound to get duped by someone too.
This happens because humans are greedy beings.
We want. And want, and want some more.
We may think we know how to get our way, but it comes with a price we never calculate.
We may think we know people, but they always surprise us don't they?
And just when we feel our big break is here the carpet is swept up from under us and we're left laying on our ass wondering what we ever did to good old Karma.

Paying Attention

I have a problem. I drive too fast.

There's this thing I used to say to people, 'if you want to see me get mad, put a windshield in front of me.' This is because when I get behind the wheel of a car I like to go somewhere. If you get into your car and just decide to hit the road - no end in mind - we're going to have a problem you and me.

I hate driving in this city. Driving in Calgary has become one of the last things I want to do. With one million vehicles now registered in a city like Calgary, Alberta you almost can't avoid being a witness or victim of an accident.

I was driving my brother home from his road exam. He had borrowed my car to take during his test and I remember thinking, even though he's professionally licensed now I'll still drive home. We were on The Deerfoot (Deerfoot Trail, also known as Queen Elizabeth/Alberta Highway II) and it was approaching 3:30 pm when rush hour traffic is beginning to get a little thick. Motorists are merging and exiting and speeding up.

While approaching the off ramp I noticed the vehicles ahead of me braking and as a result began to slow down myself. My brother was in the passenger seat; as I mentioned I was driving and there was a lady behind me with two young kids in the back seat. It didn't seem like she was slowing down.

That's when I realized the vehicles ahead of me almost at a complete stop and I said to my bro, "this lady's going to hit us," and as the last word left my mouth -POW- she did; she hit us. 

Her car had rebounded after impacting mine, and was then at a dead stop on a main highway with vehicles flying around us at no less than 100 kilometres per hour. Within another moment the lady who hit me was then hit from behind by a large SUV. The front right axle snapped leaving his truck now stranded in the middle of Highway 2.

The hit to the lady's car caused it to be pushed into mine a second time. My poor brother just passes his road test and this happens. And it always happens so fast that we almost forget

I had told my brother about the lady hitting us before she did because in my rearview mirror I could see her; at the time of me braking, turned around and paying attention to her children in the back seat. Maybe the kids were fighting and one of them was crying or something.

Kids cry all the time.

But she wasn't paying attention.

When I think back to this I can't remember if there is anything I could have done to avoid being hit. I was driving the speed limit, slowing with traffic as was necessary in attempt to exit the highway. I checked my surroundings, including beside and behind me. 

I think I was paying attention.

Later that afternoon I went into work and the regulars started coming in for a hot steak sandwich and cold beers. When the usual talk-of-the-day started I heard them complaining about an accident on the main highway. 

Three cars, one of them stopped dead in the middle with no front right tire. 

They said the axle snapped right off; went into some lady's trunk.

being thankful

it's a good thing to do.

i'm reading The Celestine Prophecy

You know the story - the one about the spiritual adventure in Peru; the search for a hidden manuscript.
It's really one of those books you don't want to put down because this guy is travelling around the rocky and narrow winding roads in Peru, he's being driven by a Priest because he was separated by the first man who saved him from being nearly killed.
You see - this manuscript is being protected by the Peruvian government and the more people who hear about it; Scientists, Philosophers, your average American journalist, the more trouble. There are unwanted people in their territory and the government is being protective. But some people believe in the manuscript and in sharing what it says.
The manuscript has eight Insights; apparently a Ninth and yet undiscovered Insight as well though I am not entirely sure since I have not finished reading the story.

I deeply want to believe in the first few Insights the manuscript tells of.
The First Insight speaks about the "chance coincidences" we all tend to experience in our lives. Have you ever seen someone you know you have seen before but can't quite remember what about? This could mean the two of you have unfinished business. This is more than mere coincidence.
The Second Insight regards our desire to seek out life's purpose.
The Third Insight is all about the energy of living things and being able to see that energy surround beings, and project your own energy towards them.
The Fourth Insight touches on the competition to gain and control energy of others.
Competition for energy underlies all conflicts.
The Fifth Insight explains the key to overcoming conflict in the world (the competition for energy). A mystical experience, which is available to everyone, will reveal that once you open yourself up to being filled with love, you can build your own energy,
The Sixth Insight details the four "control dramas" which all humans because of their upbringing are susceptible to. Intimidators steal energy from others by threat. Interrogators steal it by judging and questioning. Aloof people attract energy by being coy and Poor Me's make us feel guilty and responsible - sometimes even without having done or said a thing. Once we become aware of our own control drama we can focus on answering the question. which is: how to make of your life a higher-level synthesis of your parents' lives?

I think reading this story opens up a whole new part of your brain that thinks and feels exclusively about this energy. Every living thing is made of energy and being able to nurture and cultivate the energy will help you on your spiritual journey towards life's great purpose. Share yourself as you go out into this world and the people who are meant to cross your path, will. People need people.
People also need stories to explain and to excite.
The Celestine Prophecy is one story explaining why.

i lost my job

This is the third time i'll attempt writing this. 

You can't explain yourself at the time but you would have liked to say thanks for the opportunity.

I loved my job and I worked hard. it's not easy to remember exactly why I did the things I did or said the things I did but I hope I didn't get fired because I knew too much. I'm not stupid but I can say stupid things, we all do.

When do we feel we love our job best? 

When it doesn't feel like work; when the trust is enough to approach them with anything

But employee satisfaction is not earned lightly...least of all when an owner is disconnected.

I need dolla, dolla,

dolla, that's what I need, 

and if I shared with you my story 

would you share your dolla with me?

i haven't written in a year

and i cannot tell you why.

right now i'm sitting in the living room with the television on in front of me.
Rookie Blue. I started watching it from season one last week and it's amazing how characters in television series' grow, and change their appearance over the show's course. when you look at photos of yourself from a different time you recognize instantly the smile or lack thereof. you almost always say you haven't changed - though some people look absolutely nothing like their former selves. I like thinking about being fourteen again. I was nearing the end of Junior High and coming to terms with having to meet a bunch of strangers the following September - High School.
and was I ever.

i don't even know how to write anymore. OK, that was stupid. of course i know how to write (or type) but that doesn't mean I'm not flailing; grasping for words. it's like trying to pick best colour for your bedroom or guest bath; if you are lucky enough to even have a guest bedroom.
i am, i do.

the hardest part about writing is having to write. I've always wanted the words to just fly from my fingers as if i were Matilda herself, magical Mara Wilson. she is stunning, and brilliant by the way. and she writes.
when you get down to it the only way you'll truly remember what you've done or said or what someone else has done or said for that matter, is if we write it down. so here i am.
I'd like to take this moment for my grandparents, who without i would not exist.

for the first time in a long time - maybe ever - i feel entirely open.
almost one month ago a huge chapter of my life ended and it made me feel thankful for having had the opportunity but at the same time made me realize that energy given is meant to be invested and if i can't feel 100% comfortable with where i am putting my energy then i need to find a different place to put it.

more recently i changed the theme and colours of my blog, this blog. what do you think?