Feeling Whole

It's no surprise things don't come easy.

The other day I was visiting with my two best friends in the whole wide world (a.k.a my maternal grandparents) and we were talking about how tough it can be to have your own company.

15 years ago my grandmother sold her Hair Salon. She was operating and working at the shop for 15 years and so it was thirty years ago that she opened up. I wasn't born then.

On Fridays I would get picked up from school by my grandpa who drove a tow truck. Man was he the coolest (still is!). 

He'd let me sit on the back of the truck and play around with the levers after showing me which one does what. I loved spending time with him and he knew it. Usually we would go to the shop to check up on the girls (a.k.a. my mother and grandma & staff) who would be working away either applying colour or chopping and texturizing. 

Sometimes Grandpa would get me popcorn chicken from KFC. 

But we wouldn't buy a drink because he had "a fridge" on the back of his truck where he kept pops. 

When you have your own company it's not really separate from your life; in a way it's really everything. This is what my Grandma tells me after explaining to her that I've begun the process of starting a business. She tells me it's not easy and, people don't appreciate you the way you think they will. 

Of course I know she's right but at the same time: nothing in life is easy (she's been telling me this for years). 

"I had six girls working for me and most of them were good, you know but some...some were just awful." 

My Grandma employed my Mother from the minute she turned 14 I think. My Mom couldn't really help manage because the other girls became jealous and started calling favouritism on my Gram. 

"We hired this one girl who started taking product home so she could do her friends and clients there. She would act like I didn't know what was going on but I knew." she says.

It's hard to feel whole when you're being taken advantage of.

When I hear the story of giving up the business I feel for my Grandma - the lady who offered her daughter a business and was turned down. She had to deal with the personal AND working lives of women; employees messing up, asking for advances or just plain stealing. A lady who worked for her once ended up stealing her entire wallet from her purse in the back. They had lockers then but didn't feel it necessary to incorporate locks; it was a small business with at most six people working. "All it takes is one," she tells me, "and your company no longer feels whole." 

And after standing and working for fifteen years my Grandmother sold the salon and retired. She was 51.

I knew I wanted to work from a young age. 

Those after-school trips to the salon allowed me to experience a working environment, and I loved it. Being right there to answer the telephone and book appointments seemed like the greatest thing. 

This was our salon and I was working! But I was seven, my Mom was newly 30 and wanted something different. She understood how easily people can choose to take advantage. That, and the fact that working alongside a bunch of PMS-ing women was not favourable. We can't expect things and not be disappointed, that's just how it works. The less expectations we have, the better chance of avoiding that disappointment. No, it's not easy to have a successful business; nothing ever is. 

It takes a serious amount of work and time and trial and error too.

It takes a whole lot.

My Grandpa used to keep cans of pop on the back of the tow truck, just behind where his seat was. They weren't in a lunchpail or cooler or "fridge" but it was, his fridge just the same. 

"They stay cold because they outside," he used to tell me. 

When you have your own company it's what you do.

You make it work.

Starting a Business

I woke up this morning thinking, I'm going to stay inside all day.
The rain has been pretty relentless over the past few days; yesterday it poured and earlier this week some suburban communities were flooding. But business goes on as usual in this city.
Now at 7:13 in the evening, the sun has made it out from behind the clouds and the storm has passed; or so it seems.

It feels like I should be outside now.

Here I am instead writing this.

I've been working on myself the last couple months wondering what I should be doing to feel better and more empowered. I love helping people and most recently I've been baking and it has made me feel really good.
Baking is a science and a passtime.
Baking has allowed me to help people who have limited options when it comes to getting the support they need. My own mother and grandmother have taught me so much when it comes to nurturing and caring for others that I feel most comfortable when I'm doing the same. It's as if they helped me figure out what I'm good at best.
So I'm here to care for you.

*


I started working when I was fourteen years old because I wanted to make money.
I didn't know anything about chequing accounts or tax contributions - I was 14.
The one thing I did know was this: buying things for myself feels good.

So I started working after school and on Saturdays and Sundays.
I made about 400$ every two weeks. And when I got my pay cheque I put 25% of it away and didn't touch it.
I did this for almost ten years.

All my jobs have been fairly independent. I've loved having the support of a team but somehow I've always thrived on my own, under pressure. When I think about how many things I've been able to treat myself with because of my work ethic it makes me happy and proud. I hope you feel the same.
When I was able to take my savings and use them as a down payment on a new house it felt insane.
I don't think I can come up with the right words to describe it but it's definitely good.
When you consider yourself and the work you do I hope it makes you happy.

The way we feel about our job affects how well we do business.
We can't forget we trade our time - the hours of our life - for money; and knowing that time is precious,
do you think you have time to waste feeling poorly about the business you do?
We can all work for someone else but then it's never completely ours; we're never really calling the shots.
It's exceptionally important to consider your business.

When I was fourteen I went into business with myself and put away 200$ a month until at the end of my first year working I had 2500$ saved up. I was spending money on food and clothes and shoes but I always saved that two hundred dollars. I guess I thought the best way to succeed in business is to be in business.

Also, if you don't try you can't fail.

* Side Note: 

If you started with 1 cent 

and doubled your money each day,

it would take less than one month

for you to become a millionaire.

Buying a House

Boy oh boy the things you can accomplish when you save your money!

Last year in February I bought a house. You can just barely see my door handle in this photo but behind this tree is my "little place" - as my grandfather calls it.

Marquis of Skyview Ranch Townhouse Calgary

 I love having my own house because it feels like it's this sanctuary I can completely claim. It's one place I know I can go to for solace and retreat. The only thing that could make my place better is having a condo management company that actually cares!!!

Last month I e-mailed in a concern I had regarding the exterior of my property and the damage which has occurred. I attached four or more photographs of the side of my house, including the pathway between and the next unit's exterior as well (both are in awful condition).

The bark mulch laid along the side of our properties has blown all over, making the black mesh/netting material underneath come loose. With weather changes and forecast thunderstorms throughout the summer months I just knew the longer this went unattended, the more damage that would result. To summarize the response I received, 

'thanks for letting us know, this was addressed in the walkaround and we are waiting for quotes.' That was last month.

Again this month I reached out to the condo management company to say I haven't heard from anyone regarding the exterior of my property; my concern raised a month prior. It seems they thought they had me at bay with a vague response but since I don't have anything better to do than pay for the house I purchased last year, they would have to hear from me again. 

As a 20-something homeowner who has saved everything she can to afford a $300,000+ townhome in BOOMING Calgary, Alberta, I don't have time for lazy property management companies. The last condo management was so awful that I had to call them - three days after a snowfall - to ask where the snow removal company was. Thankfully, within 30 minutes I heard the sound of blow-packs coming from behind my house. You can see then how it made sense for us to get a new management company in there. 

Since May 1 of this year we've had a new company managing the properties of Marquis of Skyview Ranch in Calgary. They do OK. I heard the lawnmower only once this summer but hey - at least they came. This morning I received an e-mail saying they have the quotes for repair but are awaiting "approval" to begin the work. I can understand awaiting approval if there are no concerns raised, but when a resident has issues and has been waiting longer than a month for resolution? Then it's hard to say a management company cares about who is living in the properties they manage. 

I may not be very old but I am old enough to purchase and pay for a house. 

If I did not pay the fees required of me there would be consequences, yes?

If there was an issue with my property, such as the roof falling apart, it would be MY responsibility to advise the property management company, yes? 

IF the property management company valued others like me, who diligently pay their fees and maintain and abide by the rules and regulations set out by said management company, wouldn't you think they'd resolve resident concerns?

My guess is they know very well how to build a bank account but not a clue how to build relationships.

Question: How do we find out how good property management companies are at holding up their end of the bargain? 

Before enrolling in a post-secondary course, students are known to visit ratemyprofessor.com to see if the prof is worth taking the course for. I'd like to have something like this for condo management companies where residents can post experiences they have had to deal with or issues they have needed help resolving. Before purchasing my townhouse I could have used this kind of thing.

Your Happy Place

I don't know if I ever remember feeling this way.
My head is congested with a million and a half thoughts right now because of something
that happened that caused me to feel hurt, sad and worst of all, stupid. It's similar to feeling embarrassed.
When we're not embarrassed but mad we may think irrational thoughts like,
I'm going to break something or throw something. And when we feel humiliated we want to run far, far away.
How do we find the happy place?

When I get pissed off there's a good chance I won't say much. I'm a lady of very few and specific words. So few words, in fact that sometimes when I say them, they come out backwards. I love words. I focus in on them, seek them, crave them. Words create the things we use to get what we want and so when I'm mad at you there's not much I want from you and therefore I will say few things to you. But I will go to my happy place and play out different possible resolutions for the conflict.
I don't like confrontation. The most trouble I like to get in is speeding; that's it!
So when we fight - you and me - and when you fight with someone else, think about what the reason is and be as specific as possible. Narrow it down to the exact minute and second in time that you were made to be angry or embarrassed or hurt and make it known to whomever is responsible.
Then see how they react.
And you go to your happy place wherever that is and you do what you do best
Use Your Words.

Go to your happy place and rest.

On Karma

I don't always know what's wrong with people, but there's definitely something off with everyone. You see those jealous-types who just can't stand not being involved in every single conversation. You have the 'Negative Nancys' who can't ever seem to put a positive spin on anything. The 'Poor-Me's' are constantly trying to get others to either feel sorry for them, or guilty - as if they had something to do with the person's poor luck. This is why I Love Karma.

Everybody has a dramatic complex to battle.
People can be interrogators, intimidators, Poor-Me's or aloof.
The complex you have has a lot to do with the complexes of your parents. For example: if you were raised by two people who seemed almost too busy to give you the attention you craved; always giving you vague or short answers and all the space you needed - you may end up as an interrogator, or you might become a Poor-Me. Because you didn't receive the attention you desired you might harbour a feeling of rejection; therefore making others feel lesser to make up for the lack of attention you received. If you still seek the attention your parents never gave you then you may try gaining it from others through sympathy.

I'm still trying to figure out all the details of my complex but I'm almost positive I'm aloof.

I'm unnaturally calm in high-stress situations. I almost always try to avoid conflict or drama of any kind. When someone else is going through a difficult time I enjoy being the confident one and helping them work through emotions. People ask me how I don't "lose my mind" when dealing with things that most have little patience for. I guess I just play it cool.

The tough thing about a complex is how many of us don't understand or believe we have them. I know how difficult it can be to convince an intimidator their only real need is to feel loved. It's not easy to open up and accept our personal flaws. We do our best to hide them from the world. We give off convoluted impressions because it makes us seem "interesting". Does it?
Or does it only make us seem more flawed?

Karma is explained as the spiritual principle of cause and effect.
Meaning: if you take advantage of someone, in the future you're bound to get duped by someone too.
This happens because humans are greedy beings.
We want. And want, and want some more.
We may think we know how to get our way, but it comes with a price we never calculate.
We may think we know people, but they always surprise us don't they?
And just when we feel our big break is here the carpet is swept up from under us and we're left laying on our ass wondering what we ever did to good old Karma.

Paying Attention

I have a problem. I drive too fast.

There's this thing I used to say to people, 'if you want to see me get mad, put a windshield in front of me.' This is because when I get behind the wheel of a car I like to go somewhere. If you get into your car and just decide to hit the road - no end in mind - we're going to have a problem you and me.

I hate driving in this city. Driving in Calgary has become one of the last things I want to do. With one million vehicles now registered in a city like Calgary, Alberta you almost can't avoid being a witness or victim of an accident.

I was driving my brother home from his road exam. He had borrowed my car to take during his test and I remember thinking, even though he's professionally licensed now I'll still drive home. We were on The Deerfoot (Deerfoot Trail, also known as Queen Elizabeth/Alberta Highway II) and it was approaching 3:30 pm when rush hour traffic is beginning to get a little thick. Motorists are merging and exiting and speeding up.

While approaching the off ramp I noticed the vehicles ahead of me braking and as a result began to slow down myself. My brother was in the passenger seat; as I mentioned I was driving and there was a lady behind me with two young kids in the back seat. It didn't seem like she was slowing down.

That's when I realized the vehicles ahead of me almost at a complete stop and I said to my bro, "this lady's going to hit us," and as the last word left my mouth -POW- she did; she hit us. 

Her car had rebounded after impacting mine, and was then at a dead stop on a main highway with vehicles flying around us at no less than 100 kilometres per hour. Within another moment the lady who hit me was then hit from behind by a large SUV. The front right axle snapped leaving his truck now stranded in the middle of Highway 2.

The hit to the lady's car caused it to be pushed into mine a second time. My poor brother just passes his road test and this happens. And it always happens so fast that we almost forget

I had told my brother about the lady hitting us before she did because in my rearview mirror I could see her; at the time of me braking, turned around and paying attention to her children in the back seat. Maybe the kids were fighting and one of them was crying or something.

Kids cry all the time.

But she wasn't paying attention.

When I think back to this I can't remember if there is anything I could have done to avoid being hit. I was driving the speed limit, slowing with traffic as was necessary in attempt to exit the highway. I checked my surroundings, including beside and behind me. 

I think I was paying attention.

Later that afternoon I went into work and the regulars started coming in for a hot steak sandwich and cold beers. When the usual talk-of-the-day started I heard them complaining about an accident on the main highway. 

Three cars, one of them stopped dead in the middle with no front right tire. 

They said the axle snapped right off; went into some lady's trunk.