how to wake up in the morning.

the last time i remember having time to waste i was reaching over to turn my alarm clock off. i can't remember the time the clock displayed, or even what time i was supposed to get out of bed. i can't even remember getting out of bed. i never got out of bed.

the first time i remember having time to waste i was at the orthodontist. the all-too-obvious fish tank did nothing to comfort my nerves; diminish my wait time. i was barely eight years old and i had to have something glued into my mouth. there was a metal piece with two hooks that came out on either side of my eye teeth. and with a tiny croquet needle and little baby elastics i would, each evening before bed, attach a vertical bar that went from my forehead to my chin. i guess they called it a headpiece. i never got out of bed.

another time i remember having time to waste i was a little bit older but not much. every Friday my Grandpa would pick me up from school in his tow truck. most of the time we would go straight to the hair salon but sometimes we would make a stop along the way. back then i still ate meat so we would pick up Kentucky Fried (Popcorn) Chicken and i loved that shit. at the salon i would answer the phones and schedule the appointments. can you imagine calling your hair stylist and an eight-year-old books your cut, colour and blow dry? Grandma let me play hair dresser with the mannequin heads; wash, dry, curl, style, buzz. indeed one day i found the electric razor. she told me it was OK but she warned me that it would be the last time i played hair dresser. i had a blast buzzing that doll's hair off. and then i cried immediately after. and the next day. i never got out of bed.