slow down.

you know when you get so busy you just need to slow down but you think slowing down might throw you off all together? yeah, that's how i'm feeling. working Monday to Friday and sometimes even Saturday at an average of 10 hours a day is absolutely draining. and the sad part is that i love it. i love it so much that i've let it grow on me. i've let older men into my office. i've been let into their bed. i'm a smart girl but sometimes i'm a complete idiot. what can you do? you just do you. and this is me 100% in the flesh. i may have less flesh than i used to but that's only because i've completely forgotten that lunch exists. "i'm too busy." I say. but never too busy to work; to help others that i work with. where in the world did that girl go? that girl who used to love everything about herself and try to communicate beauty through her words and body and mind.don't get me wrong, i love myself still and i'll be my biggest advocate but i'm finding it harder and harder to breathe.

i've even started to forget about haiku tuesdays...

sunday haiku

tuesday i saw Neil.

sixty-seven years and still
rocking the free world.

haiku (xxix)

nobody fought for

me so far. I don't know why

i thought different now.

haiku (28)

maybe it is wrong

but why does it feel so right?

guess we'll never know.

just one person.

would you believe yourself if you said that you are the only person in the world that matters? i would. let's be serious, nearly anything i tell myself could be a giant lie and for the most part people lie every single day but what it comes down to is honesty. and when you are honest with yourself, it might be a lie but it might also be the truth that you need to hear instead of the bullshit that you wait for people to tell you. besides...it's only one person. people say, 'tell me how you feel.' but are they really going to be OK with an answer like, 'i just don't think we should see each other anymore.'? probably not. when someone wants you to tell him or her how you feel, this person actually wants you to say what they'd like to hear. am i right? so if somebody wants to know how another person is feeling - he or she might want to consider explaining that the only person in the world that matters is them self. would you believe anybody if they said to you you're the only person in the world that matters? i wouldn't. because people lie every day. but would you believe just one person if they told you that you're the only person in the world that matters? yes. i would.