why, if god was the creator of all things, were we supposed to "praise" him so incessantly for doing what came to him naturally? this seemed servile, apart from anything else. if jesus could heal a blind person he happened to meet, then why not heal blindness? what was so wonderful about his casting out devils, so that the devils would enter a herd of pigs instead? that seemed so sinister: more like black magic. with all this continual prayer, why no result? why do i have to keep saying, in public, that i am a miserable sinner? why is the subject of sex considered so toxic?
these faltering and childish objections are, i have discovered, extremely common-place, partly because no religion can meet them with any satisfactory answer.
i need to come to terms with my religion
maybe i'm scared to have real faith
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