common decency

hypocrisy is annoying but not evil

someone who says one thing and does another

has doubled their chances of being half right

-penn jillette

the way i see it

heaven is totally overrated
it seems boring
clouds; listening to people play the harp
it should be somewhere you can't wait to go -
like a luxury hotel
maybe blue skies and soft music were enough
to keep people in line in the 17th century,
but heaven has to step it up a bit

they're basically getting by
because they only have to be better than hell.

good for me

and when i saw you tonight,
my heart skipped a beat

no.
just kidding.

i felt nothing.

and i know that you saw me too
and i'm so happy about that

give my regards to soul and romance

and so long to devotion
you taught me everything I know
wave goodbye, wish me well
you've gotta let me go

i hate this part right here

there's something better out there
in this world
and you're a part of it
forget about me.
this is you we're talking about now

take me for all that i am

this is me we're talking about
remember when i didn't know what i wanted?
i think it's different now
i know what i want
and i know what i need

this is for every hour we have ever spent together
every kiss, each embrace, and every tear shed for one another
for every memory we have created
and for just being together
for the times that we managed to work through our anger
for all the times that i distressed you, and you were patient
for all the little things that you have done
that have added up to be so great

thank you for being you
but this is me we're talking about
and i'm still here
but i can't be yours.

you run your mouth like an operation

i write every fucking day
and i dont have the words to explain how much of a turn off you are
you talk as if you know what color socks the pope wears
does the pope even wear socks?
that's a good fucking question.

it's like the killer that stalked new york
you're so well known - but for the wrong reasons

stop talking about me like you know who i am
and please
please grow up
maybe then you'll realize that people dont really see you
the way you see yourself

the weakest strength

sometimes,
she wondered whether or not she actually knew what love was
she didn't mean the kind of love that she talks about
when she leaves the house and says, "bye mom, love you"
or when she gets off the phone with her best friend saying, "love you too"
she knew all about that
that kind of love was just there
background
like bricks in a wall
it wasn't something she ever even gave much thought to
it wasn't something that could soar like a bird
or plummet like a stone
it wasn't an emotion that could be stretched one way or the other
yet remain the same
it wasn't, in other words,
the kind of emotion that overwhelmed her to no end
the kind that left her exposed, confused, ecstatic, and terrified
all at once.

foiled:

1. to prevent from being successful
2. to obscure or confuse
3. to be cut off at the knees

golden

sitting there listening to the rules of the game
the same rules that i've heard for five years now
thinking, "i wonder if she'll say anything if i lay down - here on the gym floor."
maybe it would have been rude
anyways, i didn't do it

and then high heels
cracking on the plastic coating of the bleachers
i thought: has to be her
and both of you, too
fuck yeah.

i'm so glad that the three of you all came tonight
it really was so important that you were there for me
"perfect" -
like you said after i hit her in the chin

her dad actually clapped when my shot landed out

because of you,
i was able to go into each game
knowing what to do and how to do it
thanks for looking out for me, boys

oooh yeah.

the world does not meet you half way

what the fuck does anybody want?

i want to find someone to love who loves me back
i want to eat my own heart
and shit music
i want to save the lives of all my friends
and i want to live
because he wasn't allowed to anymore
and because i'm going to change the world one day

grab onto me tightly as if i knew the way

this guy, he told me a story once:
he said, "i'm outside her house and i've got this rose in my hand
and she's up in her room and it's romantic and perfect
except there's no pebbles
there's no fucking pebbles to throw at her window
but what do i have?
i've got all this change," he says,
"so i'm throwing coins at her window
and the pennies aren't cutting it and the dimes are bouncing off into the grass
so, last resort, i'm flinging quarters and pretty soon,
i'm out like two, three dollars
more than the cost of the shitty ass rose
and i'm all out of breath on the fucking lawn alone
all for a chick who..."

bryan charles

have heart?

heart as in The Day The Music Died
heart as in love being made
heart as a haunted house, a dim memory
heart as the phone rings once and then stops
heart as throw your hands in the air
heart: as in the rest of your life times the weight of the world.

love to need; need to love

so maybe i want you
and by want,
i mean long for you to have my heart
so i'm selfish, right?
i'll take selfish
i can deal with selfish
because what i can't deal with -
is not having you in my life

i'm gonna be fine
and i'm gonna be happy
but at the end of the day
there you are

thank god.

the bad mother's handbook

...surely you didn't get an A in doing what you're damn well told

sometimes i think you're the only thing keeping me sane...

The Goodness Of god.

somewhere in the world, a man has abducted a little girl
soon he will rape, torture, and kill her
if an atrocity of this kind is not occuring at precisely this moment,
it will happen in a few hours, or days at most.
such is the confidence we can draw from the statistical laws
that govern the lives of six billion human beings.
the same statistics also suggest that this girl's parents believe - as you believe
that an all-powerful and all-loving God is watching over their family
are they right to believe this?
is it good to believe this?

no, not really.

the entirety of atheism is contained in this response.
atheism is not a philosophy; it is not even a view of the world.
it is simply an admission of the obvious.
in fact, "atheism" is a term that should not even exist
no one ever needs to identify themself as a "non-astrologer" or a "non-alchemist"
we do not have words for people who doubt that Elvis is still alive
or that aliens have traversed the galaxy only to molest ranchers and their cattle.
atheism is nothing more than the noises reasonable people make in the presence of unjustified religious beliefs.
an atheist is simply a person who believes that the 87% claiming to
"never doubt the existence of God"
should be obliged to present evidence for his existence.
an atheist is a person who believes that the murder of a single innocent little girl - even once in a million years - casts doubt upon the idea of a benevolent God.

a night by the fire

"remember when we used to play flag football
with the guys out in the field;
during recess and lunch?"

yeah.

we were ten and eleven years old
we had no worries
and we didnt think twice about our actions

yeah.

we were so young then
and look where we are now
everything has happened for a reason
we are who we are because of each other

the four of us driving to brad's last night
made me miss so much of what used to be
tight shirt tim
willis and the shampoo commercials
lindsay and everything from then till now
i love spending time with all of you
and it was so great to have last night back in my life

never lose sight of who you are.

why?

the young man came to the Old Man seeking counsel.

i broke something, Old Man
how badly is it broken?
it's in a million little pieces
i'm afraid i can't help you
why?
there's nothing i can do
why?
it can't be fixed
why?
it's broken beyond repair

it's in a million little pieces.

school came to me last night

except in my dream it looked different
but we all knew that it was our school
everybody had a huge math test
and kayla studied like nothing else
she had a chart and diagrams; all colour-coded
it filled an entire table
i'd say about 25 feet long
meghan told us a couple questions that were on it
and then i asked an asian girl what the most important fish was
and she said "trout"
but she was wrong
she thought i was talking about the most important fish in the ocean or something
where was her head at?

maybe we weren't at school
because we were all assigned rooms in groups
and sara and i were in one room with some other people
and then angel came
and then i saw you
you were back at my school
there you were, catching up with all of the football guys
and when you saw me, i turned around and went back into my room
but you followed me
told me that you wanted to talk
tried to grab me
no
i didn't want to talk
i didn't want to hear what you had to say
even if you were going to explain why you straight up took off from my life
or that time i played at your school
where were you then?
you said you wanted to talk then, didn't you?

i was not thinking about you
last night, before i fell asleep
i did really well
your family liked me
you told me yourself

but that was a long time ago now
and you're just a kiss in the wind

expensive tastes

Strings attached, fake eye lashes
Broke apart the piggie bank for petty cash
Sensitive sister blushin', don't stare
Watch the children squabblin' in the square

Tip my hat, low windows
Once I saw you naked, there was nothing to show
Piano place and out of tempo
Of all the girls of in our class she's the most refined

I'd like to be there in the morning when you wake up
Maybe pipe dream, but come easter we could pack up
I'd like to be there in the morning when you wake up
Maybe pipe dream, but come easter we could pack up

I like to show up at your door step
Wipin' the wintertime in name attack
And meet your family, couple of them cookin'
Take the peanuts to

I refuse to take that job
Just because i'm poor don't mean I can't be a snob
Strawberry hair, fair freckled skin
Waiting like a creep outside till the end

Shy expression shown on her shoulders
Bought this house with money that your grandfather stole
Much too young, save the imagination
Ruin an elegant girl's reputation

I'd like to be there in the morning when you wake up
Maybe pipe dream, but come easter we could pack up

Woah, woah
Woah, oh
Woah, oh
Woah, oh

And when they ask me my occupation
I'm a prayin and working on my patience
I got no good friends, politic party
Parents take my car keys

Now that time, rollin' smoke for trades
drink my waiting coffee at the penny arcade
rows of shoes, shelves of jewerly
Mama's dying her hair in the vanity

Daddy's watch too tight, try silver spoon for size
Harder than a needle through a camel's eye
Folks gather around the table, find a place
Boys that girl don't have expensive tastes

family feast-er, happy easter

rule number one: love your family.

endlessly.
always.
regardless.

your family should be the most important thing in your life.

because honestly, who else do you have?

yeah, you have your best friend or your boyfriend or girlfriend
yeah, you have your neighbour john or that kid that works at the till next to yours
but they weren't there at the hospital when you weighed under ten pounds
and they weren't there that time you finally took off your training wheels
they didn't hand you the keys to a car on your 16th birthday
and they're going to film your entire graduation even if it says "no videography, please"

other than walking downstairs into my kitchen,
it is about a six minute car ride to the houses of the most important people in my life
the people that love me endlessly, always, and regardless

you: please don't lose sight of who should be important
i know it's hard - believe me, i've been there
and i have spent days - months, even
trying to convince myself that somebody who was without question an important figure, wasn't
nobody will ever know what they want
but it's more important that you know where to start
i'm going to be my mom and tell you to be the better person
promise me that one day you'll give it a try
she needs all the help that she can get
regardless of what she has done
she is not worth your anger

i hope everybody ends up with their family today - somehow
no matter where they are
because i'm going to be on skype with my family in Italy

over 14 hours away and an 8 hour time difference wont stop us
no way.

because they're never going to meet

so maybe we were off to a great start

there were too many people
and nowhere to stand
tell me: how do i act upside-down in this land?
when no one knows a thing about love

it's too bad that we could have been read off paper

i wanted to tell you that i hated those things
but i couldn't, so i didn't
i was exposed to a relationship for once
and i didn't know a thing about love

for a long time there was something i could not solve

as smart as we both may be, there was something deeper
it was set it stone and it was far beyond our reach
i knew that i was safe
but i just wanted to be alone

i put my heart in your hands

so what if i was scared?
while my mind was saying yes, my heart was saying: slow
be careful
because they're never going to meet

and as for me

i'm not going anywhere any time soon
take care of yourself for me
because i still want us to be in each other's lives
even if we can't be each others'

ps. i still read your horoscope every chance i get

i'm sitting on the plane right now. i'm coming home.

thinking about what i want to say to you is safer than writing this, but i can't get you out of my mind.

(this may seem like just another complaint of mine but i assure you that it's different)

in other words, this is my final, moral outreach

i get that you cant be friends with me. and i understand that i have been difficult and unfair to you.

for these things, you know i am sorry.

i blame myself for not trying hard enough and for letting you down.

whether i wasnt thinking or was thinking too much, it's too late to tell.

but listen to me:

you are a fantastic person. you are compassionate and thoughtful. you go to lengths that not even you understand their significance. you are smart and funny and you have so much ahead of you. and you told me yourself that you're not going to let anything get in the way of it. you stay away from things that you have no desire for. everybody should do that.

too bad nobody knows what they want.

i may be starting to sound like a broken record.

but i never know if i'm actually going to get to where i want to be

so i guess it's a lot easier when you start off somewhere you've already been

yes, i'm scared to love and depend on somebody so entirely.

yes, i should have put in more effort and not given up so soon, so easily.

and yes, i have thought about it every day since.

how do you really feel about me?

where does your mind go at night - when you're laying in bed; trying to fall asleep?

there's more.

you taught me how to feel safe again. you allowed me to feel safe.

you scared me hardcore with the 'i love you'

because i remember running away the first time

and maybe i'm selfish - but i'm all that i can be right now

i will never stop caring about you and i feel selfish for that, too.

because after what i did to you, i dont deserve to still care.

but that's just how i feel.

maybe i've just got a lot of growing up to do.

you drove me crazy. good crazy and bad crazy.

but i was okay with that in the beginning

we're both a little bit difficult

but maybe for a second or two we understood each other

i have a lot of secrets - and you have a lot, too

i wanted you to be completely and utterly real with me

raw and honest

because i know that you've never been like that with others

i wanted to be there to give you advice and tell you to smarten up if i had to

i wanted to tell you that i hated walking with you to chem,

and that i hated being grabbed by the waist.

but i couldn't.

because i loved that you wanted me and that you were happy

for the longest time, i felt like the world had turned it's back on me

and so, i turned my back on the world

and here i am today, begging for the world to let me back in

so that i can figure out what i want

i'm sorry for letting go, walking away, giving up - on myself, on us.

i know that i didnt do the best or most. not even close.

and just between you and me:

i realized how much i actually cared about you the very next day

people need people

you cant go living your life thinking that people dont want you to be there
why would you put yourself through that?
that is a lose-lose situation
you feel like shit - and the other person feels like shit when you're withdrawn

i'm a good person, right?
i do what i can and i try my best at the right times
i act out and i act my age
i fight for things that i have strong belief in
and i dont know everything but i'm putting it all together piece by piece
it wont take long, but it will take time
or maybe it will take a long time
i'm never sure

people need people to listen
and to yell and kick and scream
people need people to wave at them
or to say, "Good Morning"
people need people to be quiet with
just shut up for a second and listen to this nothing
maybe you'd learn something
people need people to go for coffee with them
or breakfast, or dinner
people need people
.. it's quite evident

dont be scared to call
i may not like the phone
but i'd like the talk

coming to terms

why, if god was the creator of all things, were we supposed to "praise" him so incessantly for doing what came to him naturally? this seemed servile, apart from anything else. if jesus could heal a blind person he happened to meet, then why not heal blindness? what was so wonderful about his casting out devils, so that the devils would enter a herd of pigs instead? that seemed so sinister: more like black magic. with all this continual prayer, why no result? why do i have to keep saying, in public, that i am a miserable sinner? why is the subject of sex considered so toxic?

these faltering and childish objections are, i have discovered, extremely common-place, partly because no religion can meet them with any satisfactory answer.

i need to come to terms with my religion
maybe i'm scared to have real faith

confirmation of more than just the sacrament

Dear Bishop:

I am not a nice kid.
I smell bad and am rude to my sister.
Wash away my sins.
Thank-you

Donny.
---------------------------------------
to be honest,
i have always wanted to just sit down with you so that we could talk about everything that we havent talked about before - maybe everything you've been avoiding
i dont know how to help you but i want to so bad
and it's not fair that you dont open up to me
i know it's hard for you
it's still hard every day
i'm just sick of the shit that we put each other through every day
i guess, what i'm saying is it's useless
it's sometimes hard for me look back and remember things from when we were a lot younger
too many things went wrong
there were too many times that we were let down
and through most of it, i just remember not being able to wait to grow up

listen kid,
he's gone - but i'm not going anywhere.

i love you and we'll get it one day.

punctuation is powerful

an English professor wrote the words:

a woman without her man is nothing

on the chalkboard
and asked his students to punctuate it correctly

the males in the class wrote,
"a woman, without her man, is nothing."

and all of the females wrote,
"a woman: without her, man is nothing."

ricorda

amare tutti
la fiducia pocco
fare l'ingiustizia a nessuno

when you search for happiness, you wont find it
you'll find it when you're not looking

you're gonna find it in a letter, or on a highway
in a song, or at the dinner table

i wanna find happiness in the mirror
i wanna see it

but i'm not looking for it.

a lot of everything

there are a lot of people out there that you're never gonna please
i try to tell myself this once in a blue moon - when i remember to
but when you just want to make everybody happy,
what are you supposed to do?

it takes a lot longer than a month to create real friendship
so dont call me your friend if that's how long we've known each other for
i'm not saying that you mean nothing to me
i'm just saying that you dont know me

i want so badly for everybody to love something
what happened to judging every man for his action?

there are too many people in this world who look at the big picture
and fail to see what's right in front of them

you're going to miss out on so much
if you keep looking out the window